This morning I walked into Starbucks to see that now, thanks to Prop 65, they too need to remind me that I could die.
Can we just dispense of all the warning signs? Restaurants that use balsamic vinegar claiming you could die from their food. Parking garages telling you that parking in them could lead to your death. McDonald’s reminding us that coffee is hot. A sign at the beach telling us there are sharks in the ocean. A chainsaw telling you not to hold the wrong end. This people? This is why I drink.
Instead? Let’s get it over with first thing in the morning and be done with it. We mandate that every American must have an alarm clock that wakes us up with a voice that says,
“Warning. Getting out of bed this morning means your life is in danger. You might get scalded or eaten. You could lose your fingers and it is probable that you will die. Every step you take will further enhance that danger. Everything you eat will most likely kill you. What we tell you is good for you today, will kill you tomorrow. Nothing is safe. Your children are in grave danger and there is nothing you can do to protect them. Now. Get up tiger. Get out there and tackle the world. Because you never know, you just might make it through today.”
haha so true Stefanie. This is why I don’t watch the news. It’s not that I don’t want to be informed it’s that I don’t want to be depressed for the first hour I’m awake about how we are all going to die. Ignorance is truly bliss. Get rid of all those ridiculous warning labels.
Ha ha! It’s because people are dumbing down. They are too dumb to know that hot coffee can burn them, but smart enough to know they can sue someone if it does.
I hate all these signs.. are we stupid ..no.. will someone sue you if you dont put the sign up.. yes.. that is the problem
Hilarious!! I have read it to about 5 people so far!
Brilliant! I am so tired of the warnings and cautions. Seriously. I know that coffee is hot. I know that driving can be dangerous. I know i should not swallow razor blades.
When will this madness cease?
yes, yes and yes!!!!!!!! this too is why i drink… often.
Awesome! And so ridiculously true
the fact you go to starbucks…this is why I drink!!!!!!!!
Where can I order that alarm clock? I can think of a few people that could use it. Then maybe they won’t forward ridiculous emails to me.
LOVE IT!!! I seriously don’t understand why they have to post signs that are blatant common sense…oh ya because most people are idiots
i laugh. EVERY. TIME. i read a warning. food containing raw eggs, hot, vinegar…
look ma, i’m driving. no hands.
Late to the show, but had to add: If you don’t get up but hit snooze, the clock might point out that staying in bed and being lazy will also eventually kill you by leading to obesity causing high cholesterol, diabetes and other diseases.
The damned if you do, damned if you don’t crap in our world is why I drink!
http://www.ooph.com is amazing, bookmarked!
[url=http://www.facebook.com/pages/MMA-betting/221344401210163]mma betting[/url]
I saw many sites but http://www.ooph.com is best ever
[url=http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tabletki-na-odchudzanie/216862285003816]tabletki na odchudzanie[/url]
http://www.ooph.com is cool !!
[url=http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sportingbetcom/230985290247684]sportingbet[/url]
Wielu z was pewnie nie daje zyc problem nadwagi. Tym ktorym udalo sie zrzucenie paru kg napewno zdazylo sie poznac niemily efekt jojo. Cala wasza mordega byla daremna. Probujecie wielu srodkow i waga nie spada. Az w koncu wpadacie na pomysl, aby wziac jakies cudowne [url=http://thermacuts.info.pl]tabletki na odchudzanie[/url]. Tylko ktore kupic ? Z wielu moich doswiadczen, moge polecic wam Therma Cuts. Spala tluszcz zamieniajac go w energie i redukuje jednoczesnie laknienie. Nie trzeba trenowac aby uzyskac szybkie rezultaty. Kiedy dodatkowo bedziemy uprawiac jakis sport efekty dzialania tabletek podwoja sie. Skladniki Therma Cuts sa obojetne dla zdrowia, bo sa naturalne!