Last night J, Colt and I were sitting upstairs watching a college football game and it occrred to me that KeenanKeenan aka: Kman
Age: 14
"Special" Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries. was downstairs and it would be really nice if he joined the rest of the family for a bit.  So, because I am a masochist I walked downstairs and asked him.

Me: Hey Keenan.  Will you do me the biggest favor?

Keenan:  (Eyeroll.)  What?

Me: Would you come upstairs and hang out with the family?

Keenan: No. (Then after a small pause) Wait.  What do I get if I do?

Me: The pleasure of my company?

Keenan.  Ummmm.  No.

Next time I am gonna go with this: Get your skinny ass upstairs for some family time before I hide all of your boxers so that your entire butt is exposed when you wear those STUPID jeans that rest on your upper thighs. 

I will then depart the room with a very dramatic three snaps in a Z formation.