http://www.ooph.com/ Get the latest blog posts from Ooph - Because sometimes life takes your breath away en-us Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:40:01 -0500 Copyright: (C) Stefanie Mullen 15 During the summer of Keenan’s eighth year of life I sent him to summer camp. The second week of camp as we were eating dinner, he casually said, “Mom I need twenty dollars for tomorrow.”Confused and wondering why the camp[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/313/my-eight-year-old-convict http://www.ooph.com/ranted/313/my-eight-year-old-convict Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:21:40 -0500 Ranted Isn't she cute? It's a good thing. There is something so special about waking up to a pile of puke in the middle of the living room that Daisy has left for me. Last week her puke contained a plastic bad,[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/312/name-that-dog http://www.ooph.com/ranted/312/name-that-dog Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:57:09 -0500 Ranted I am doing a segment this morning with some other mom bloggers on Fox News. So here is an oldie but goodie. On Saturday I was trying to convince Noah to get outside and practice lacrosse.  He had tryouts on Sunday,[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/220/that-didnt-come-out-right http://www.ooph.com/ranted/220/that-didnt-come-out-right Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:13:16 -0500 Ranted Keenan: You need to lighten up.Me: If by lighten up you mean pounds, that’s insulting. Keenan: (eye roll) You know I mean that you need to lighten up more. Live a little and quit being so overprotective. Me: I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/311/living-life-on-the-edge http://www.ooph.com/ranted/311/living-life-on-the-edge Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:35:07 -0500 Ranted Ooph has been nominated for an AWARD. (Because someone has lost their mind.)I found out about the nomination right after I arrived home from the grocery store at one o’clock in the afternoon still wearing my pajama top under my[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/309/an-award http://www.ooph.com/ranted/309/an-award Sat, 06 Mar 2010 10:19:51 -0500 Ranted When a group of us get together and are sitting around late in the evening with our cocktails, we play a game. It’s called “would you rather.” The premise is that someone offers up two celebrities and you have to[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/310/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/ranted/310/who-would-you-rather Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:16:52 -0500 Ranted THIS is my greatest accomplishment in 2010. Is that sad? Before: And you should know it looked like this for about a year.   After: OH GOD. I've turned into my grandmother.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/308/a-hot-mess http://www.ooph.com/ranted/308/a-hot-mess Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:52:04 -0500 Ranted Rated R. Not kidding. I throw more f-bombs in this post than I did in all three of my labors combined. So, if that offends you, you might want to skip this one. Random shit started here. Quitting smoking is[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/307/random-shit http://www.ooph.com/ranted/307/random-shit Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:34:50 -0500 Ranted I know. I promised you random crap this morning. I meant to finish it up on Sunday and have it posted for this morning, but my fabulous husband had other plans. Yesterday, my 39th birthday, the first day of the[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/306/that-doesnt-suck http://www.ooph.com/ranted/306/that-doesnt-suck Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:01:25 -0500 Ranted I turn 39 this Sunday and I have to admit I have turned into one of “those” women. I am focused on every wrinkle. I am pissed at how hard I have to work to keep my body from being[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/305/random-shit http://www.ooph.com/ranted/305/random-shit Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:09:52 -0500 Ranted Last night I put Colton down and J and I settled in with the older boys for our nightly Wii tournament. Where I lose BIG TIME and say things like “fo shizzay” and “If you make fun of me one[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/304/rated-crassbut-dont-blame-me http://www.ooph.com/ranted/304/rated-crassbut-dont-blame-me Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:31:26 -0500 Ranted J and I came up with the concept for Twitter. No really, we did. Well to be fair it was more of a combination between Yelp and Twitter. So I guess we also came up with Yelp. We purchased the[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/303/funny-little-dream-killers http://www.ooph.com/ranted/303/funny-little-dream-killers Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:22:40 -0500 Ranted In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste" photo. You, my VERY witty and clever readers, will come up with captions for the photo as if they were being written on[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/286/in-bad-taste-seven http://www.ooph.com/ranted/286/in-bad-taste-seven Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:59:49 -0500 Ranted Hi my name is Stefanie and I have a problem. Actually I have a lot of problems, but the one I am discussing today is the sound of people eating. If I am being honest, I don’t really think it’s[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/302/close-your-mouth http://www.ooph.com/ranted/302/close-your-mouth Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:31:34 -0500 Ranted This is one of my favorite pieces. A few years back J and I were trying to find a pot rack for our kitchen.  Every piece we came across felt like something we had already seen in someone else's home[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/301/one-of-my-faves http://www.ooph.com/ranted/301/one-of-my-faves Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:57:04 -0500 Ranted This past Sunday I ran my very first half marathon. I started training about three months ago and never once mentioned it here on Ooph because I was pretty sure like many other great ideas I have had in my[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/300/tears-of-joy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/300/tears-of-joy Wed, 17 Feb 2010 10:58:04 -0500 Ranted Friday night I joined up with some new Blogger friends at Intimacy to meet with the Bra Whisperer. Shhh....If you are really quiet you can hear her say, “Why are you shoving your boobs into that tiny little cup size?”[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/299/intimacy-ooph-approved http://www.ooph.com/ranted/299/intimacy-ooph-approved Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:46:51 -0500 Ranted In a couple of months this field will be head high and so yellow it's blinding. I drive by all of November, December and January and long for these beautiful yellow flowers. Over the last couple of weeks the field[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/298/signs-of-spring http://www.ooph.com/ranted/298/signs-of-spring Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:26:29 -0500 Ranted A couple of weeks ago, I introduced a new segment titled, it's your story, here at Ooph. The concept is, you give me a prompt and I will create a fictional story. I will be doing one a month. Here[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/297/its-your-story-hot-for-teacher-part-one http://www.ooph.com/ranted/297/its-your-story-hot-for-teacher-part-one Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:18:58 -0500 Ranted Can anyone guess what is wrong with this picture? Hint: What goes in the box?[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/296/why-i-beat-my-head-against-the-walldaily http://www.ooph.com/ranted/296/why-i-beat-my-head-against-the-walldaily Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:12:42 -0500 Ranted This morning J took Colton to school.  I asked him to please check the list to see what I had volunteered to bring on Friday for the Valentine’s Day party.  He called me from the school as I was peacefully[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/295/someone-needs-a-time-out http://www.ooph.com/ranted/295/someone-needs-a-time-out Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:56:07 -0500 Ranted I was watching the Superbowl on Sunday and thinking how cool it was that these guys get to go to work with a bazillion fans cheering them on and I started to wonder. What would my life be like if[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/294/seeking-an-ambassador-of-appreciation http://www.ooph.com/ranted/294/seeking-an-ambassador-of-appreciation Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:21:19 -0500 Ranted Every February I turn a year older and in celebration, I get a facial. Yesterday was the big day. I scheduled the treatment a month ago and have been looking forward to it like a kid on Christmas morning that[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/293/rejuve-a-what http://www.ooph.com/ranted/293/rejuve-a-what Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:58:09 -0500 Ranted If you aren't already signed up for the ooph newsletter, sign up on the left side of the page.  Also. Please shoot me an email and give me some suggestions. What would you like to see in the newsletter? Do[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/292/ooph-newsletter http://www.ooph.com/ranted/292/ooph-newsletter Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:00:52 -0500 Ranted Before I get on to my business of writing, I want to say a big fat THANK YOU to all of the readers who have stopped by from the New York Times. Thanks for slummin' it over here at Ooph.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/291/its-your-story http://www.ooph.com/ranted/291/its-your-story Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:33:21 -0500 Ranted The only way you will get me on an airplane is by dangling a bottle of vodka in front of me. Grey Goose makes me move faster than Smirnoff, but I am not picky.  I have at least two or[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/290/flying-the-friendly-hiccup-skies http://www.ooph.com/ranted/290/flying-the-friendly-hiccup-skies Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:20:51 -0500 Ranted About two weeks ago my blogger pal Shannon over at Show Me The Mom sent me an email saying she had referred me to a writer at the New York Times. They were looking for mothers of teens and tweens[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/289/ooph-in-the-new-york-times http://www.ooph.com/ranted/289/ooph-in-the-new-york-times Sat, 30 Jan 2010 10:30:11 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I was driving Colton and his friend to school. The two of them were in the backseat discussing Colton’s new Thomas the Train rain boots. “Oh they are so cool,” his friend said. “Thanks,” Colton replied. “They’re just like[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/288/always-sometimes http://www.ooph.com/ranted/288/always-sometimes Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:19:12 -0500 Ranted I have thought of you often and what you might look and act like. I have done the numbers and while I am no mathematician I realize there will be three of you. That is bad news for me.  You[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/287/a-letter-to-my-future-daughters-in-law http://www.ooph.com/ranted/287/a-letter-to-my-future-daughters-in-law Wed, 27 Jan 2010 13:05:52 -0500 Ranted   Inside the card: Although the neighbours were friendly, Tarzan just didn't fit into Jane's world. Outside the card: We will miss you.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/285/week-six-winner http://www.ooph.com/ranted/285/week-six-winner Mon, 25 Jan 2010 10:43:51 -0500 Ranted Last week J was in Costa Rica on a surf trip. He ran that by me one night when I was on my third glass of wine and he had just handed me a new pair of diamond earrings and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/284/the-day-i-wanted-to-be-a-vodka-drinking-trash-collector http://www.ooph.com/ranted/284/the-day-i-wanted-to-be-a-vodka-drinking-trash-collector Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:25:45 -0500 Ranted Keenan lost his xbox privileges this weekend because he failed to turn in several Spanish assignments last week. He did them all.  I know because I took the time to check them. Then he got to class and made the[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/283/no-means-nounless http://www.ooph.com/ranted/283/no-means-nounless Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:26:53 -0500 Ranted In the process of remodeling our house I came across a photo of rain chains. Instead of the traditional downspouts coming off of your gutters, you use these beautiful chains and the water runs down them.  I couldn't WAIT to[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/282/actual-weather http://www.ooph.com/ranted/282/actual-weather Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:37:28 -0500 Ranted It's another fabulously passive aggressive text from my mom. The humor in these texts is endless. As long as she doesn't stumble upon my website of course.  So DON'T tell her. I was feeling guilty on Friday because I haven't heard[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/281/file-under-pat http://www.ooph.com/ranted/281/file-under-pat Mon, 18 Jan 2010 11:59:54 -0500 Ranted Week Six. In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste" photo. You, my VERY witty and clever readers, will come up with captions for the photo as if they were being[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/278/ http://www.ooph.com/ranted/278/ Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:52:06 -0500 Ranted The most under appreciated member of our family is this sweet dog. Look at her face.  That line up the middle of her nose just makes me want to squeeze her up. I have intentionally left out her body in[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/280/daisy-girl http://www.ooph.com/ranted/280/daisy-girl Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:50:54 -0500 Ranted Week Four Winner. The inside will read: Bob finally figured out that if he kept enough booze on hand his friends wouldn't mind hearing the story of how he caught that fish...AGAIN. The inside will read: Happy Birthday Dad.   Other Winners: Winner Week One. Winner Week Two. Winner[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/279/ http://www.ooph.com/ranted/279/ Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:02:49 -0500 Ranted Week Five Winner. And the winner is.... The outside will read: Hey honey the girls were in a rush and we had to combine the something OLD, BORROWED, and BLUE. So please make sure I get my panties back. The inside will read: Congratulations on[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/277/ http://www.ooph.com/ranted/277/ Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:24:10 -0500 Ranted My Christmas present to J was a trip to the National Championship game to see his coveted Longorns play.  I had the tickets for weeks and keeping the secret from him was about as easy as Keenan getting through a[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/276/the-longhorns-stole-my-dreams http://www.ooph.com/ranted/276/the-longhorns-stole-my-dreams Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:29:07 -0500 Ranted Yesterday Colton was eating a chocolate covered graham cracker. He finished and had chocolate all over his hands.  I asked if he would like a wet wipe and he replied, "No. I will just lick it off."Then.  He stared at[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/275/hook-em-horns http://www.ooph.com/ranted/275/hook-em-horns Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:28:21 -0500 Ranted Keenan’s big gift this year for Christmas was a bust. The gift you ask? A specialty headset for his Xbox. The kind that blocks out all the noise of your family and makes the game so loud you’re guaranteed to[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/274/the-hangover http://www.ooph.com/ranted/274/the-hangover Wed, 06 Jan 2010 11:37:50 -0500 Ranted Week Five. In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste" photo. You, my VERY witty and clever readers, will come up with captions for the photo as if they were being written[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/273/ http://www.ooph.com/ranted/273/ Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:11:36 -0500 Ranted And the winning caption is... The outside wil read: I've gotta feelin'. That tonight's gonna be a good night. The inside will read: Mazel Tov! Thanks Heather.  Good one!  [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/272/in-bad-taste-week-three-winner http://www.ooph.com/ranted/272/in-bad-taste-week-three-winner Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:41:50 -0500 Ranted The sky is on fire. I woke up this morning, looked outside and thought, "How nice of Mother Nature to provide a sky filled with fire and passion to remind me that all I want to achieve this year is[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/271/theres-fire-burnin-in-the-sky http://www.ooph.com/ranted/271/theres-fire-burnin-in-the-sky Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:10:57 -0500 Ranted I do not know where this originated.  If I did I would surely give credit where it is due.  My dad sent this via email today and while I am not supposed to be on my website this week because[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/270/why-parents-drink http://www.ooph.com/ranted/270/why-parents-drink Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:12:03 -0500 Ranted This week I will be enjoying my family.  Stop laughing.  Just because they are out of school and saying mom every five minutes and I am wishing I could start drinking at noon, it doesn't mean I am not enjoying[...] http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/119/on-being-whiskey-tango http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/119/on-being-whiskey-tango Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:59:23 -0500 memoirs This week I will be enjoying my family.  Stop laughing.  Just because they are out of school and saying mom every five minutes and I am wishing I could start drinking at noon, it doesn't mean I am not enjoying[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/164/cops-in-carpool http://www.ooph.com/ranted/164/cops-in-carpool Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:00:03 -0500 Ranted This week I will be enjoying my family.  Stop laughing.  Just because they are out of school and saying mom every five minutes and I am wishing I could start drinking at noon, it doesn't mean I am not enjoying[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/144/zip-it http://www.ooph.com/ranted/144/zip-it Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:40:23 -0500 Ranted I did a crapload of Christmas shopping today and had to use the public restroom on several occasions.  Having experienced the same INSANE ANNOYANCE at certain RUDE ASS women, I have decided to repost this rather un-holiday-cheerlike post. If I have[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/52/clean-up-after-yourself http://www.ooph.com/ranted/52/clean-up-after-yourself Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:27:41 -0500 Ranted Repost from July. I am an extremely competitive person.  Often to a fault. I have tried to work on it, but I always come back to this. “What in GOD'S NAME is wrong with wanting to win?” Who in their right[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/120/the-apple-doesnt-fall-far http://www.ooph.com/said/120/the-apple-doesnt-fall-far Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:22:53 -0500 Said A Christmas serenade just for you. *clears throat.* Testing, testing.  Can everyone hear me? *sips water* I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for ChristmasMy kids and Hubby are mad.I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas‘Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.I text my son “How horny[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/269/a-christmas-serenade http://www.ooph.com/ranted/269/a-christmas-serenade Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:01:50 -0500 Ranted All of my girlfriends have daughters.  Not tomboy, tree climbing, dirt eating tomboy girls like I was.  They are all princess dressing, pink loving, barbie wanting, shoe loving girls. Much to J's chagrin, Colton has taken a liking to their[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/268/yo-yo-yo http://www.ooph.com/ranted/268/yo-yo-yo Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:29:12 -0500 Ranted This very clever childrens' book answers the question you have been dying to know since you were a child.  What the hell happened to my snowman over night?  It looked so nice when I went to sleep and now?  He[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/267/snowmen-at-night http://www.ooph.com/booked/267/snowmen-at-night Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:24:55 -0500 Booked What is a typical day in the car for me you ask?  Why, it's all of us gleefully singing camp songs of years gone by and regaling each other with stories of our day. Everyone sits quietly and listens because[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/266/are-we-there-yet http://www.ooph.com/ranted/266/are-we-there-yet Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:15:36 -0500 Ranted Read Black Friday part one here first. I ripped into my parking space at about 35 miles per hour, tires screeching, grabbed a shopping cart from the bin, thinking there was NO WAY there would be any available inside and I[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/265/black-friday-the-conclusion http://www.ooph.com/ranted/265/black-friday-the-conclusion Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:22:17 -0500 Ranted I miss the changing skies of back home and that old joke, "If you don't like the weather in Indiana, wait five minutes." The weather doesn't change much in San Diego and I AM NOT COMPLAINING so don't send me your[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/264/stormy-sky-sort-of http://www.ooph.com/ranted/264/stormy-sky-sort-of Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:01:50 -0500 Ranted I know, I know.  Another photo of the sky.  Look at the logo dudes.  I love the clouds.  As a child, I would lie on my back and stare up at the moving sky and dream of better days.  Those[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/263/another-cotton-candy-morning http://www.ooph.com/ranted/263/another-cotton-candy-morning Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:58:33 -0500 Ranted How about this doozy? I don't really need to say much I suppose.  Wood paneling, alcohol and a dead fish.  Have at it girls. In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste"[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/262/in-bad-taste-week-four http://www.ooph.com/ranted/262/in-bad-taste-week-four Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:00:14 -0500 Ranted Yesterday Keenan stayed home from school with a "headache".  The headache started after a helmet to helmet hit at lacrosse which interestingly no one saw, but REALLY happened.  As it turns out, it wasn't actually related to a hit at[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/261/something-wicked-this-way-comes http://www.ooph.com/ranted/261/something-wicked-this-way-comes Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:00:31 -0500 Ranted Yesterday we had a fabulous winter storm blow through California.  The rain came pouring down and the wind blew so hard at times I expected to see Toto come flying by my head. I love the way the sky looks just[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/260/after-the-storm http://www.ooph.com/ranted/260/after-the-storm Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:24:36 -0500 Ranted Last night after an exhausting day of lacrosse, I was sitting with Noah in his room recapping his game. I am not sure if you know this, but I am SO COOL it’s ridiculous.  For some reason my children need[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/259/oh-snap http://www.ooph.com/ranted/259/oh-snap Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:29:02 -0500 Ranted Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life. Yiddish Proverb[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/258/quippy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/258/quippy Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:06:38 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I dropped Colton off in the daycare at the gym and went for a workout. I picked him up about five minutes later (KIDDING, it was ten minutes) and we went to CPK (OUR FAVE) for lunch.  We were[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/257/tell-me-sweet-little-lies http://www.ooph.com/ranted/257/tell-me-sweet-little-lies Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:32:22 -0500 Ranted Thanksgiving morning J and I were looking through the 482 pages of ads that arrived with our morning paper when we spotted the grand daddy of all gifts for one of our children and the discount was INCREDIBLE. I will[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/256/black-friday http://www.ooph.com/ranted/256/black-friday Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:14:25 -0500 Ranted “I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.” Thomas Campbell Clark[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/255/quippy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/255/quippy Tue, 01 Dec 2009 10:37:16 -0500 Ranted Week three and I love this one.  The look on my great grandmother's face is priceless and I SO WISH I knew what the person taking the photo said to make everyone laugh this hard.  Or perhaps it was my[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/254/in-bad-taste-week-three http://www.ooph.com/ranted/254/in-bad-taste-week-three Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:08:27 -0500 Ranted And the winner is.... The outside of the card will read:  Whew dear.  Check your pants after that one. The inside of the card will read: Cheer up.  This crap will be over soon.   Thanks Liz.  Highlarious. [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/253/in-bad-taste-week-two http://www.ooph.com/ranted/253/in-bad-taste-week-two Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:10:40 -0500 Ranted Each year at Thanksgiving we do our Christmas card photo.  This picture was snapped about halfway through the process. Can anyone guess what I am thinking?[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/252/happy-thanksgiving http://www.ooph.com/ranted/252/happy-thanksgiving Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:53:03 -0500 Ranted Thanksgiving is underway in my house.  Can't you just smell the pumpkin pies baking? Repost from July:  Yet another example of my meritorious parenting. I remembered a story from years ago today and I have been laughing so hard tears are shooting[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/116/crazy-for-the-glove http://www.ooph.com/ranted/116/crazy-for-the-glove Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500 Ranted I am not one of those people who wakes up vomiting gratitude every day.  I wish I was, but I’m not AND I am a little busy right now just trying to wake up with a smile.  Instead, I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/251/more-thankfulness http://www.ooph.com/ranted/251/more-thankfulness Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:39:30 -0500 Ranted On Saturday evening I was sitting with a girlfriend of mine in a hotel watching The Hangover.  I sent a text to J saying that I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.  Only, instead of texting my husband,[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/250/holiday-cheer http://www.ooph.com/ranted/250/holiday-cheer Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:25:55 -0500 Ranted "Folks who have no vices have very few virtues."        Abe Lincoln[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/249/quippy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/249/quippy Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:06:29 -0500 Ranted Ok gals.  Week two of in bad taste is underway. Last weeks winner was a good one.  What will you have for me this week? Sorry the photo is so small, if I try to make it larger, you loose[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/248/in-bad-taste-week-two http://www.ooph.com/ranted/248/in-bad-taste-week-two Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:39:39 -0500 Ranted These aren’t your grandmother’s mashed potatoes and thankfully they aren’t my grandmother’s either because that is another one of those things she liked to make out of a box.  Apparently somewhere along the way she got it in her head[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/247/smashed-red-potatoes http://www.ooph.com/cooked/247/smashed-red-potatoes Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:36:14 -0500 Cooked This stuffing is so delicious I can barely stand not making a batch right now and eating the entire thing before J gets home from work.  The chestnuts, unless you can find them pre-shucked and if you can DO IT,[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/246/sausage-corn-bread-a-chestnut-dressing http://www.ooph.com/cooked/246/sausage-corn-bread-a-chestnut-dressing Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:17:04 -0500 Cooked If you are having Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's home and you look around the table and notice there is no green bean casserole being served, politely excuse yourself, then RUN.  Those people have been sent from another planet to[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/245/green-bean-casserole http://www.ooph.com/cooked/245/green-bean-casserole Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:04:12 -0500 Cooked My favorite part about going to my grandmother’s house every year for Thanksgiving was walking into her home through the laundry room and seeing the pies all lined up. The aroma of laundry detergent and pumpkin pie can still take[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/244/pumpkin-pie http://www.ooph.com/cooked/244/pumpkin-pie Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:18:19 -0500 Cooked This can be made a day or two in advance.This recipe is from my great grandmother’s kitchen and is my favorite thing to make every Thanksgiving.  The smell is wonderful and I love watching and hearing the cranberries pop in[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/243/cranberry-salad http://www.ooph.com/cooked/243/cranberry-salad Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:51:59 -0500 Cooked I used to avoid gravy like the plague, but J kept lightly nudging me, “Why don’t you try making gravy, why don’t you try making gravy, why don’t you try.”  Shut up, I get it.  So I set out to[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/242/ooph-proof-gravy http://www.ooph.com/cooked/242/ooph-proof-gravy Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:45:20 -0500 Cooked Brining the turkey is done TWO days ahead of time. I started using this recipe to brine my turkey about five years ago and I have not served a dry turkey since.  NOT KIDDING.  And yes, I know, people are afraid[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/241/alsatian-brined-turkey http://www.ooph.com/cooked/241/alsatian-brined-turkey Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:06:58 -0500 Cooked If you are not a good cook and have been asked to bring something other than the rolls you have been bringing for the last 10 years, this is the perfect recipe for you.  It's easy and delicious.This is truly[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/240/candied-yams http://www.ooph.com/cooked/240/candied-yams Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:16:46 -0500 Cooked This picture captures Colton's goofy little personlity perfectly. He melts me.  I looked at this picture this morning and thought to myself, "Someday soon he too will smell like a walking Axe commercial."  The time just flies by.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/239/four-eyes http://www.ooph.com/ranted/239/four-eyes Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:29:02 -0500 Ranted Someone get my ass a drumroll because I've got me a winner: The outside of the card will read: If I keep giving these ladies tequila I'll be joining the mile high club. The inside of the card will read: Congratulations on this exciting[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/238/in-bad-taste http://www.ooph.com/ranted/238/in-bad-taste Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:12:58 -0500 Ranted Keenan tends to be a little cranky in the morning. And NO it isn’t just because he is a teenager, it’s always been this way.  I sadly passed another one of my horrible traits on to that kid. Yet another[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/237/good-morning-sunshine http://www.ooph.com/ranted/237/good-morning-sunshine Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:19:31 -0500 Ranted Yesterday we took Colton and went to our favorite little breakfast spot.  To entertain him we brought along the Toys R Us section from the paper.  While we waited for our food, he carefully studied each page and after much[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/236/sometimes-they-just-force-you-to-be-evil http://www.ooph.com/ranted/236/sometimes-they-just-force-you-to-be-evil Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:58:15 -0500 Ranted "I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle." Erma Bombeck[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/235/quippy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/235/quippy Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:54:24 -0500 Ranted I have a box of old photos that I go rummaging through when I need a smile.  They aren’t of my children.  They are photos of my grandmother and her parents.  The photos represent all that she was.  I especailly[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/234/in-bad-taste http://www.ooph.com/ranted/234/in-bad-taste Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:03:23 -0500 Ranted OH. I get it.  THIS is what happens when you take away their technology.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/233/brotherly-love http://www.ooph.com/ranted/233/brotherly-love Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:26:31 -0500 Ranted I debated.  Do I put this lovely photo of the morning sun rising on Ooph today or a photo of me flipping the bird at the time change that happened two weeks ago and completely screwed my morning slumber.  Knowing[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/232/bitchier-than-usual http://www.ooph.com/ranted/232/bitchier-than-usual Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:21:47 -0500 Ranted Last night J, Colt and I were sitting upstairs watching a college football game and it occrred to me that Keenan was downstairs and it would be really nice if he joined the rest of the family for a bit. [...] http://www.ooph.com/said/231/the-beauty-of-family-time http://www.ooph.com/said/231/the-beauty-of-family-time Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:47:09 -0500 Said I woke up this morning with the intention of writing a post of gratitude. A giant thank you to the men and women who serve this country and allow me the freedom of hugging my children daily, being angry at[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/229/gratitude http://www.ooph.com/ranted/229/gratitude Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:51:00 -0500 Ranted The much anticipated first ever monthly Ooph Newsletter went out today.  If you didn't sign up, why the heck not? It isn't too late.  Just mosey on over to the left side of the page and enter your email address.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/228/the-newsletter-is-now-out http://www.ooph.com/ranted/228/the-newsletter-is-now-out Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:45:35 -0500 Ranted Please read with the same sing songy tone you use while reading If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. A hallucinogenic drug or perhaps a good fever wouldn't hurt either. If you pick your kid up from school and his tooth[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/227/if-you-give-a-kid-a-root-canal http://www.ooph.com/ranted/227/if-you-give-a-kid-a-root-canal Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:40:15 -0500 Ranted Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Author Unknown[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/226/quippy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/226/quippy Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:44:17 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I was in the pediatrician’s office.  AGAIN.  Though Noah’s H1N1 fever finally broke on Wednesday, he had suddenly developed a rash from head to toe which caused all my panic buttons to start ringing and my wheel to start[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/225/martinis-and-periods http://www.ooph.com/ranted/225/martinis-and-periods Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:34:35 -0500 Ranted It has been one hell of a week here at the Mullens.  Cough, oink, whine, vodka.  Cough, oink, whine, vodka.  It is my motto that when times are tough, there is but one thing to do after you pour a[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/224/laughter-is-the-best-medicine http://www.ooph.com/ranted/224/laughter-is-the-best-medicine Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:26:56 -0500 Ranted This recipe is one of our family favorites.  I made it for J's birthday this week per his request.  Peeling and seeding the tomatoes is a little fussy, but so much better than canned. I find it's best done with[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/223/shrimp-tomato-pasta http://www.ooph.com/cooked/223/shrimp-tomato-pasta Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:22:54 -0500 Cooked Finding a childrens' book amongst the 10,000 that seem to get published daily, most of them absolute crap, is exhausting.  Especially knowing that you are going to read the damn thing about 342 times over the next year.  It's enough[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/222/bear-snores-on http://www.ooph.com/booked/222/bear-snores-on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:57:08 -0500 Booked I do this thing where I diagnose myself with a disease about, oh, EVERY TEN MINUTES.  If I feel the slightest amount of pain in my head, I go straight to visions of me in the hospital and my family[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/221/spin-the-wheel http://www.ooph.com/ranted/221/spin-the-wheel Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:09:09 -0500 Ranted Happy Halloween from June and Ward Cleaver.  ps. The bizarre cowboy hat behind us is what happens when you hand the camera over to your kids.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/219/happy-halloween http://www.ooph.com/ranted/219/happy-halloween Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:52:19 -0400 Ranted Noah's room. Yesterday if you had gone to google and typed in filthy bedrooms like the person did below, my site would have come up in the top five. AS IF. [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/218/filthy-bedrooms http://www.ooph.com/ranted/218/filthy-bedrooms Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:04:31 -0400 Ranted Something amazing happens to the smell of a boy between his eighth grade and freshman year.  Apparently high school girls don't tolerate the smell of three day old sweaty pits. GOD BLESS you high school girls.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/217/airing-it-out http://www.ooph.com/ranted/217/airing-it-out Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:07:27 -0400 Ranted In case you missed it, part one. As it turned out, J knew that his friend and I had stopped dating.  It was evident from the time he arrived at the beach. He walked over and gave me a hug. A[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/216/part-two http://www.ooph.com/ranted/216/part-two Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:29:19 -0400 Ranted My girlfriend has a daughter who will be five in December.  She is a petite, spunky, curly haired blonde with gorgeous blue eyes.  I call her Sinatra because of those eyes. I laugh often and hard at the things that[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/215/a-good-girl-never-intends-to-lie http://www.ooph.com/ranted/215/a-good-girl-never-intends-to-lie Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:31:19 -0400 Ranted I was paid the highest compliment I could ever hope to receive, which is really sad, because at 38, what do I have to look forward to? A new reader to my site sent me this ...”You are a very[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/214/being-bombeckish http://www.ooph.com/ranted/214/being-bombeckish Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:25:40 -0400 Ranted I love crock pot recipes because your entire dinner is in one pot and the task is complete by 10:00 in the morning.  It is so liberating at five o'clock to know that the only thing left to do is[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/213/crock-pot-roast http://www.ooph.com/cooked/213/crock-pot-roast Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:15:27 -0400 Cooked Colt has seemed sick for about three weeks.  By "seemed" I mean that he has not had any true symptoms. He has just looked sick and been more tired than usual.  He was home from school all last week and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/212/an-overuse-of-finally http://www.ooph.com/ranted/212/an-overuse-of-finally Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:01:31 -0400 Ranted I love the golden color of sunsets this time of year.  It makes me think of hay bales and pumpkins and football season and yummy pots of soup. Or it could just be that it signals the time of day[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/211/evening-sun http://www.ooph.com/ranted/211/evening-sun Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:50:12 -0400 Ranted I don't know how to be any clearer about it.  This is SO my house. I don't care what you people say.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/210/this-is-ridiculous http://www.ooph.com/ranted/210/this-is-ridiculous Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:46:53 -0400 Ranted We all had a friend in high school that got caught at everything they did.  You would be at a party and look up and their was her father searching the crowd for her.  You would sneak out and she[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/209/never-put-it-in-writing http://www.ooph.com/ranted/209/never-put-it-in-writing Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:46:56 -0400 Ranted This chili is incredible.  I used to make it with ground beef and then I moved to southern California and found out that red meat isn't as good for you as brocolli and I switched to turkey.  You absolutely CANNOT[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/208/indiana-chili http://www.ooph.com/cooked/208/indiana-chili Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:46:17 -0400 Cooked My dad sent this photo to me last night.  He took it while J and I were enjoying ourselves (unsuspectingly) in the desert. Suddenly the missing pieces of my childhood make sense. I sent my dad an email that said, "What in[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/207/the-frankenstein-chronicles http://www.ooph.com/ranted/207/the-frankenstein-chronicles Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:42:29 -0400 Ranted The reason my dad came out was so that he could visit with his son-in-law (and as an after thought, the kids and I too).  Also so that J and I could go away for a couple of days and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/206/five-years-and-celebrating http://www.ooph.com/ranted/206/five-years-and-celebrating Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:38:18 -0400 Ranted This is how our boys earn their cell phones.  One mows the front lawn and the other, the back.  They do it happily every week and we never have to ask.  Right.  And my ass still looks like it did[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/205/the-source-of-weekly-eye-rolls http://www.ooph.com/ranted/205/the-source-of-weekly-eye-rolls Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:31:23 -0400 Ranted So, I am sure you can tell by this photo what it is J has been building.  It is still a work in progress, but almost there.  Next up?  It better be a place next to my front door to hang[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/204/day-six-and-with-lots-of-help-from-dad http://www.ooph.com/ranted/204/day-six-and-with-lots-of-help-from-dad Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:25:15 -0400 Ranted I have been trying to write this post for well over a week.  I am sure you have noticed that I haven’t posted much of anything along the lines of real writing in quite some time.  Today I realized that[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/203/in-sadness-and-hope http://www.ooph.com/ranted/203/in-sadness-and-hope Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:49:57 -0400 Ranted Hey Bumper, you want to buy tickets to the gun show?[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/202/flexing http://www.ooph.com/ranted/202/flexing Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:46:30 -0400 Ranted Daisy:  Excuse me but I have been with this family for over six years and what have you ever built for me?  This bratty little snot nosed kid shows up, sits on my head, throws crap at me all day[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/201/youve-gotta-be-kidding-me http://www.ooph.com/ranted/201/youve-gotta-be-kidding-me Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:42:01 -0400 Ranted Here is the third day of work on the mystery project. Any guesses now?  The first person to guess correctly and with detail will win one of these bags that I LOVE.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/200/day-three-two-weeks-later http://www.ooph.com/ranted/200/day-three-two-weeks-later Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:52:59 -0400 Ranted I posted a while back about how when my dad comes out here to visit, my husband somehow gets him all excited to do work around our house.  My dad has arrived for his yearly visit and J wasted no[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/199/dads-here http://www.ooph.com/ranted/199/dads-here Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:47:55 -0400 Ranted 3 pounds ground beef3 large celery stalks, chopped1 large onion, chopped4 garlic cloves, chopped2 tablespoons olive oil1 package lipton onion soup2 eggs1 teaspoon salt1/4 teaspoon pepper1 cup bread crumbsHeat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat.  Saute celery,[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/198/meatloaf http://www.ooph.com/cooked/198/meatloaf Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:15:00 -0400 Cooked To celebrate our five year wedding anniversary, my husband headed south of the border for a boy's trip. Literally.  He woke up at 6 a.m. and sprinted for his truck with a bottle of tequila in one hand, his backpack[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/197/in-need-of-a-boys-trip-myself http://www.ooph.com/ranted/197/in-need-of-a-boys-trip-myself Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:27:10 -0400 Ranted There are two ways you can tell Colton and I made cupcakes.  The first is by looking at his face.  The second my thighs.  Notice I didn't include a photo of the second?  You're welcome.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/196/cupcake-love http://www.ooph.com/ranted/196/cupcake-love Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:52:47 -0400 Ranted I am overwhelmed with parenting and sporting events and back to school coffees and the twelve emails a day reminding me that I need do something for an event that I volunteered for, etc.  You know it’s bad when you[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/195/someone-stop-the-teacups http://www.ooph.com/ranted/195/someone-stop-the-teacups Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:31:17 -0400 Ranted About a year ago I saw this necklace on a friend and mentioned to my husband that I would love to have one. Then I forgot all about it.  Apparently he didn't because on Friday before we left for our[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/194/he-loves-me-he-really-really-loves-me http://www.ooph.com/ranted/194/he-loves-me-he-really-really-loves-me Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:26:02 -0400 Ranted This morning I am working on a post that I should have ready this afternoon regarding why my world is spinning.  As I am typing away Colton is watching Sesame Street.  Parenting 101. He just walked over to me and[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/193/hang-ten http://www.ooph.com/said/193/hang-ten Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:57:06 -0400 Said I could hear Colton screaming from outside, "It's going to hit the moon, it's going to hit the moon." I went rushing outside to find this. I know, I know, another balloon photo.  But I just can't resist.  Besides, HOW GORGEOUS[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/192/collision-course http://www.ooph.com/ranted/192/collision-course Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:45:03 -0400 Ranted The above ad was at the top of the ESPN fantasy football page.  Is it just me or does anyone else see the humor in this?  I'm not judging.  Whatever it takes. Still, humorous.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/191/whats-wrong-with-this-photo http://www.ooph.com/ranted/191/whats-wrong-with-this-photo Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:47:38 -0400 Ranted Wow.  I am 0-2 and let me just say this is WAY less fun when you are losing your ass.  Matt Schaub got me 36 points last week and Adrian Peterson 22.  How the hell did I lose?  I'll tell[...] http://www.ooph.com/football/190/week-three-and-sucking-wind http://www.ooph.com/football/190/week-three-and-sucking-wind Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:57:33 -0400 Football These are delicious.  Not good on the waist line, but DELICIOUS.  My kids beg for them.  Noah easily puts down four at a time. J has them the morning after with two eggs. I make these for friends when they[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/189/enchiladas http://www.ooph.com/cooked/189/enchiladas Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:25:31 -0400 Cooked Yesterday while I was on the phone, Colton decided he wanted a lemon. In an effort to appease him so I could continue my conversation, I handed him one.  "Not just to look at", he said.  "I want to get[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/188/lemon-drop http://www.ooph.com/ranted/188/lemon-drop Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:42:51 -0400 Ranted This Friday J and I will celebrate five years of marriage, hence the Ooph logo.  I spent some time Sunday looking through our wedding photos and reminiscing about the day we got married.  I know I am biased but it[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/187/part-one http://www.ooph.com/ranted/187/part-one Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:11:52 -0400 Ranted I know, I know, enough of the spider's.  I feel the same way, TRUST ME.  But, this work of art was just too amazing not to have a moment in the spotlight.  This beautiful spider web was between the two trees[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/186/wow http://www.ooph.com/ranted/186/wow Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:39:58 -0400 Ranted Introducing the elusive Charlie.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/185/a-friend-of-coltons http://www.ooph.com/ranted/185/a-friend-of-coltons Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:36:23 -0400 Ranted You might notice that there is a slight change in the Ooph logo.  I am working on an explanation for that.  Sorry my writing has been more about photos and less about stories lately.  Blame it on the germs, germs,[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/184/by-way-of-an-explanation http://www.ooph.com/ranted/184/by-way-of-an-explanation Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:23:20 -0400 Ranted There is a new spider hero in town. Why do I feel like CPS is going to show up at my door any moment when I look at this photo?  [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/183/look-out-peter-parker http://www.ooph.com/ranted/183/look-out-peter-parker Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:40:37 -0400 Ranted Yesterday evening after work J came home and spent more time on his new wood working project. I find it incredibly clever that he comes up with these "projects" that allow him to spend time ALL BY HIMSELF doing something[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/182/js-project-day-two http://www.ooph.com/ranted/182/js-project-day-two Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:28:25 -0400 Ranted The above photo is of the below bad ass. Noah's Facebook status Saturday night: Best night ever. catch me if u can coppers Alarming.  Perhaps that whole "touchdown bitches" thing went to his head.  Keenan's  response: wtf did u guys do hahahahahahahahaha Equally alarming. Aren't they[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/181/hmmmmm http://www.ooph.com/ranted/181/hmmmmm Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:37:46 -0400 Ranted My husband is up to it again.  This spot was cleared so that he could begin his new project.  Any guesses what that might be? [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/180/any-guesses http://www.ooph.com/ranted/180/any-guesses Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:41:25 -0400 Ranted Recently two additional people in my house began shaving their faces.  One allowed me to take his photo, actually asked me too.  The other one would KILL me for just mentioning it.  Whatever, eye roll, door slam.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/179/just-like-papa http://www.ooph.com/ranted/179/just-like-papa Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:38:19 -0400 Ranted Repost from April.  Between the sneezing and nose blowing it took me a half hour to type "April".   For the past week I have been hearing my kids complain that they need new lacrosse equipment.  Yesterday, I finally found the time[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/41/say-what http://www.ooph.com/ranted/41/say-what Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:38:04 -0400 Ranted Guess who is in need of the vegetable soup today?  That's what I get for bragging about how good I've been.  Be back with you all tomorrow.  Today every ounce of creativity I have has been stolen by the same[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/178/dude http://www.ooph.com/ranted/178/dude Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:19:40 -0400 Ranted I don't know who in the hell cued these vile creatures, but could you uncue them PLEASE.  I am hoarse from screaming every 15 minutes when my face plows into another giant web.  This thing looks like it could eat[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/177/satans-friends http://www.ooph.com/ranted/177/satans-friends Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:27:44 -0400 Ranted It is a hack fest in my house.  This is only the third week of school and I have two kids home sick. I'm sure you are thinking, That is what happens in preschool. Then why are my high school[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/176/yes-i-know-i-just-posted-soup-last-week http://www.ooph.com/cooked/176/yes-i-know-i-just-posted-soup-last-week Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:21:40 -0400 Cooked I was enjoying Happy Hour with a friend last Friday when I got this email from my mother.  It brought me to tears, not the sad kind, the humored kind.  I mean seriously I almost peed myself. This is just[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/175/can-you-say-passive-agressive http://www.ooph.com/ranted/175/can-you-say-passive-agressive Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:26:35 -0400 Ranted It is so annoying when moms go on and on and brag about things like their kid's first touchdown that was just absolutely incredible.  I mean especially when they brag about how he had to jump up to grab the[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/174/touchdown http://www.ooph.com/ranted/174/touchdown Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:29:45 -0400 Ranted Just ask half the teams in the NFL and just ask me.  I HATE to lose. Not kidding.  HATE it.  I get that enraged feeling in my stomach when Colton beats me at Candyland.  You can imagine how I feel[...] http://www.ooph.com/football/173/losing-sucks http://www.ooph.com/football/173/losing-sucks Tue, 15 Sep 2009 10:28:39 -0400 Football We were sitting outside last night and I grabbed my camera because I just can't help myself.  When these balloons fly over, all reason leaves my body, and I just have to take a photo.  I seriously question whether I[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/172/friday-night-photos http://www.ooph.com/ranted/172/friday-night-photos Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:11:33 -0400 Ranted I have long believed that family dinners are what keeps our house in order.  It is where we discuss the events of the day, where I remind the kids to chew with their mouths closed, put their napkins in their[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/171/family-dinner-happy-family http://www.ooph.com/ranted/171/family-dinner-happy-family Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:20:15 -0400 Ranted Unless you live under a rock or have a newborn, you know that tonight is the first NFL game of the 2009 season and OMG I am more excited than I would be if my husband walked through the front[...] http://www.ooph.com/football/170/fantasy-football-week-one http://www.ooph.com/football/170/fantasy-football-week-one Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:11:25 -0400 Football Apparently Colton is a GENIUS.  He was eating his trail mix and watchin’ a little Sponge Bob (which would drive anyone to prove how smart they are) when he yelled out, “Mom, come here.  I have to show you something.” [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/167/ein-freaking-stein http://www.ooph.com/ranted/167/ein-freaking-stein Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:14:41 -0400 Ranted With cold and flu season upon us, we can all use a quick and easy chicken soup recipe.  This isn’t a brothy soup, more of a meaty version.  Everyone in my family loves it, even Colton. He likes it, hey[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/166/chicken-and-rice-soup http://www.ooph.com/cooked/166/chicken-and-rice-soup Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:11:24 -0400 Cooked ...and the angels sang and the good people around the world shouted together in unison, "AMEN."[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/165/and-the-sky-parted http://www.ooph.com/ranted/165/and-the-sky-parted Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:52:34 -0400 Ranted This is a re-post from March of this year.   Yesterday I walked a friend through setting up her Facebook account.   I had just said, “the most important thing to know is that everything you post on your wall or anyone[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/34/horny-isnt-just-for-toads http://www.ooph.com/ranted/34/horny-isnt-just-for-toads Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:25:51 -0400 Ranted Keenan and I were driving yesterday and I said, "I wish driving made me burn as many calories as running."  He looked at me quite seriously and said, "Mom you would be EMACIATED."  Isn't that the damn truth.[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/163/you-said-it http://www.ooph.com/said/163/you-said-it Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:59:24 -0400 Said My husband bought me these sassy shoes for Mother’s Day and I can’t think of a better way to stave off a mid-life crisis than these sexy studded heels.  They have been sitting in my closet all summer taunting me[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/162/some-peoples-trash http://www.ooph.com/ranted/162/some-peoples-trash Wed, 02 Sep 2009 12:36:20 -0400 Ranted This morning I dropped Keenan off at 7:15 a.m. to begin his high school career.  What choo talkin’ bout Willis?  Yes, somehow I am of the age to have a high schooler and my sweet baby boy has legs covered[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/161/frosh http://www.ooph.com/ranted/161/frosh Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:44:39 -0400 Ranted I could take a picture like this most days.  One of the boys and J spending time together doing something fun and creative or throwing a football or lacrosse ball.  NOW, if he took my photo it would most certainly[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/160/just-another-day-in-the-life http://www.ooph.com/ranted/160/just-another-day-in-the-life Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:17:01 -0400 Ranted This photo makes me sad.  We spent probably our last afternoon of the year down at the beach yesterday.  School starts next week and with kids sports on Saturday and the NFL on Sunday BABY, our beach time has come[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/159/bye-bye-summer-hello-thunder-thighs http://www.ooph.com/ranted/159/bye-bye-summer-hello-thunder-thighs Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:10:34 -0400 Ranted I just wanted to take a quick blog moment to say a big fat thank you from the bottom of my butt, because it’s bigger than my heart, to all of you that come to this site and read about[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/158/a-big-fat-thank-you http://www.ooph.com/ranted/158/a-big-fat-thank-you Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:33:02 -0400 Ranted J does this wacky thing when he is giving the boys a lecture.  He makes up words and gets his phrases all mixed up. It's a mental defect.  Some crazy crap flies out of his mouth.  He can't help himself[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/157/spell-that http://www.ooph.com/ranted/157/spell-that Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:21:07 -0400 Ranted I make lobster once in a blue moon.  J recently got it in his head that we should grill some up and after a month of talking about it, we finally did it. I wish it was cheap because it is[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/156/grilled-lobster http://www.ooph.com/cooked/156/grilled-lobster Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:21:00 -0400 Cooked You can use this rub on any steak.  We like a good ribeye (bone-in) around here too.  I don't like to marinate my steaks because I like the flavor of the beef.  If you let them soak in something for[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/155/filets http://www.ooph.com/cooked/155/filets Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:10:50 -0400 Cooked I heard my sweet Colton giggling from the other room and was about to go and investigate when he came running out.  Unable to control his giggling, he stopped in front of me and said, "Look mom, I have a[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/154/they-learn-young http://www.ooph.com/said/154/they-learn-young Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:12:43 -0400 Said This is not ANOTHER book review.  I swear.  Quite the opposite in fact. Colton asked me to read him to him this morning and I am BORED senseless with his books, so I pulled an old one off the bookshelf[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/152/not-so-motherly http://www.ooph.com/ranted/152/not-so-motherly Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:03:51 -0400 Ranted After searching and yelling for Colton for long enough that I had started thinking about the story I would have to tell my husband when the neighbors called him at work to tell him our child was at their house[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/151/everyone-loves-to-hide http://www.ooph.com/ranted/151/everyone-loves-to-hide Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:21:43 -0400 Ranted JJ comes up with the coolest things to do with the boys.  For his 40th birthday I got him a telescope and the other day he took these little tiny letters that have sticker backs with Colton to a tree[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/150/footprints-in-the-grass http://www.ooph.com/ranted/150/footprints-in-the-grass Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:34:42 -0400 Ranted Do you remember how INSANELY excited I was to get grass after five years of living on an acre of dirt?  You might also remember that I mentioned someone else wasn't nearly as thrilled with the grass as I was.  One[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/149/play-dirty http://www.ooph.com/ranted/149/play-dirty Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:24:36 -0400 Ranted I am crazy for this toddler book.  I read it to Colton as often as I can. Which usually means I have to read two books when I read it because OMG that kid wants to read the same book[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/148/one-counts http://www.ooph.com/booked/148/one-counts Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:13:22 -0400 Booked As the weather begins to cool and the leaves change, I am tempted to read this book for the fourth time. I don't even watch movies twice, but I have read this book three times.  I SWEAR each read is[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/147/wicked-wicked-wicked http://www.ooph.com/booked/147/wicked-wicked-wicked Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:11:28 -0400 Booked Apparently the gals in my league are incredibly defensive about the name Sloth Cloth?  One wrote, "we sound like a group of fat lazy nuns."  All that from an old t-shirt that you wear around the house? After reading through[...] http://www.ooph.com/football/146/the-sloth-cloths-no-more http://www.ooph.com/football/146/the-sloth-cloths-no-more Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:14:04 -0400 Football Yesterday Noah was entertaining Colton while I was doing some work.  By entertaining, I of course mean he was sitting next to him watching television.  About ten minutes into the show, I hear Noah telling Colton to stop doing something[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/145/who-is-the-brattiest-of-us-all http://www.ooph.com/said/145/who-is-the-brattiest-of-us-all Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:20:06 -0400 Said I am sure you have all noticed that my recipes are mostly light and healthy.  I tend to eat that way in the summer as I live in sunny southern California and am in a bathing suit every weekend.  It[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/143/flank-steak-and-arugula-salad http://www.ooph.com/cooked/143/flank-steak-and-arugula-salad Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:58:06 -0400 Cooked I heard some people talking about Michael Vick recently and comparing his exploitation of dogs to hunting. I won’t go into my thoughts on that subject, but it sparked a memory from my childhood. That is the way it comes[...] http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/142/into-the-darkness http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/142/into-the-darkness Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:59:51 -0400 memoirs Tonight someone tweeted @ooph you are the best writer ever.  I am sure he was either, drunk, looking to sell me something or hoping I had something to sell (If you know what I mean). Don’t care.  I’ll take all[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/141/compliments-welcome http://www.ooph.com/said/141/compliments-welcome Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:57:45 -0400 Said This product was given to me by a friend.  She had sent an email out to several of the gals in our group and asked if we would be interested in carrying these bags around and giving her the feedback[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/140/love-to-love-this http://www.ooph.com/ranted/140/love-to-love-this Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:01:33 -0400 Ranted Daisy’s ears are CONSTANTLY infected and when they are, they smell worse than the playroom downstairs after Chili Night.  My family has decided it is MY JOB to clean her ears out every time they flair up.  It is beyond[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/139/patience http://www.ooph.com/ranted/139/patience Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:26:55 -0400 Ranted I imagine all the birds were hanging out in the trees on Saturday chit chatting about when they should start packing up for their flight south, when one of them noticed Daisy’s toy sitting on the lawn.  “Hey Bart, I[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/138/bird-on-a-wire http://www.ooph.com/ranted/138/bird-on-a-wire Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:11:04 -0400 Ranted As you all know by now, I LOVE FOOTBALL.  If you aren't clear, you can see more of my addiction here and here.Yesterday I set up my fantasy football league on NFL.com.  I have been playing fantasy football for years[...] http://www.ooph.com/football/137/football-is-for-girls http://www.ooph.com/football/137/football-is-for-girls Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:14:05 -0400 Football Last week I had this idea that I was going to do a post about all the reasons I wasn’t ready for school to start.  For example, I can't stand making lunches.  It's right up there with cleaning the men’s[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/135/the-tipping-point http://www.ooph.com/ranted/135/the-tipping-point Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:10:17 -0400 Ranted I really want to say something about the fact that giving birth to a three year old breach baby with a wheel barrow, while holding a shovel and dealing with a beyond mindless yellow lab looks way easier than any[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/134/yardwork-hardwork http://www.ooph.com/ranted/134/yardwork-hardwork Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:01:51 -0400 Ranted A friend of mine came by for dinner on Sunday night and instead of the pile of sugar she usually brings for the kids (apparently my years of bitching have finally sunk in), she brought a science project.  Three two[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/133/disciplinary-measures http://www.ooph.com/ranted/133/disciplinary-measures Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:44:58 -0400 Ranted This salad has been a long standing summer favorite in my home.  It is cool and refreshing. Ingredientsone large heirloom tomatoone large cucumber2 tablespoons finely chopped red onion1 tablespoon olive oil1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 1 teaspoon saltseveral grinds of the pepper[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/132/tomato-cucumber-salad http://www.ooph.com/cooked/132/tomato-cucumber-salad Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:35:55 -0400 Cooked This is one of the tastiest dishes I make.  My guests always leave raving about it.  It is so simple to make and the sauce tastes like it took hours.  You can substitue salmon for the sea bass.  JJ actually[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/131/sea-bass-with-homemade-tomato-puree http://www.ooph.com/cooked/131/sea-bass-with-homemade-tomato-puree Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:19:54 -0400 Cooked It is a rare thing that I enjoy a sunrise.  I typically greet them with a bitter grimace because one of my kids has awakended me and I am so pissed that I don't have those special kids (aka daughters) [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/130/morning-rising http://www.ooph.com/ranted/130/morning-rising Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:58:17 -0400 Ranted Last Thursday night Colton and I spent the evening at my girlfriend’s house.  Unfortunately for her she is going through a divorce, but fortunately for me that means I get to go over to her beautiful home with its sweeping[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/129/cab-for-hire http://www.ooph.com/ranted/129/cab-for-hire Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:54:09 -0400 Ranted Noah is the one with the ridiculous green shirt hanging out of his jersey.  You all probably know two things by now, one I am a crazy football fan and two Noah is playing football and I am not as much[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/128/beanpoles-are-people-too http://www.ooph.com/ranted/128/beanpoles-are-people-too Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:58:38 -0400 Ranted My dad thinks JJ hangs the moon and stars.  I have this vision of him saying his prayers every night, “Dear God, thank you for beer, wine in a box, my son-in-law and everything else.”His love for my husband is[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/127/ewwwwwwwww http://www.ooph.com/ranted/127/ewwwwwwwww Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:38:49 -0400 Ranted 4 sea bass filets, 5-8 ounces each1/3 cup pecans, coarsely chopped2 tablespoons bread crumbs2 tablespoons butter, unsalted and room temperature2 tablespoons chopped basil1 large clove garlic, finely chopped2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice1 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon pepper1/2 teaspoon sugarSqueeze lemon[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/126/pecan-crusted-sea-bass http://www.ooph.com/cooked/126/pecan-crusted-sea-bass Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:32:33 -0400 Cooked I turned on Noggin this morning and Gabba Gabba something or other was on.  How does this shit get on television?  How does Jack Black end up in orange tights and an orange afro doing a Noggin show?After much consideration[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/125/my-apologies-in-advance http://www.ooph.com/ranted/125/my-apologies-in-advance Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:51:53 -0400 Ranted Yesterday officially began football season in my house.  For those of you that don’t know, I am an INSANE, screaming at the television, bitter if my team loses, known to throw a remote or two, football lover. I DO draw[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/124/football-or-bust http://www.ooph.com/ranted/124/football-or-bust Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:46:15 -0400 Ranted Friday was cowboy day at Colton’s summer camp. How sweet is this? It is worth noting that the cowboy hat on his head is mine and it fits, which brings back HORRIBLE memories of laying in the ultrasound room and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/123/cowboy-up http://www.ooph.com/ranted/123/cowboy-up Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:34:13 -0400 Ranted While I am THRILLED with the beautiful grass in our backyard, it is bringing out some ugly felings in others. Colton is not happy about it at all. You can see it on his face.  Where is the adventure, the dirt,[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/122/bad-feelings http://www.ooph.com/ranted/122/bad-feelings Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:22:05 -0400 Ranted Just a reminder ladies.  Your lists are due by the end of the week.  Thanks to all of you that have already submitted your lists.  They are GREAT!! Here is the skinny, pun intended.  Click on the “contact me” button located[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/121/summer-fun-list http://www.ooph.com/ranted/121/summer-fun-list Sat, 01 Aug 2009 10:31:24 -0400 Ranted   This salad is not only delicious, it is beautiful. I love all the different shades of green.  I paired it with fried zuchini and a couple of filets last night. The key to this recipe is the balsamic vinegar.  The[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/118/green-heirloom-tomato-and-cucumber-salad http://www.ooph.com/cooked/118/green-heirloom-tomato-and-cucumber-salad Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:30:33 -0400 Cooked   I recently touched on the fact that we have been in a remodel phase for about five years.  Horrifying isn’t it?  While there are still little things like one exterior window that has yet to be painted (Dad when are[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/117/seeing-green http://www.ooph.com/ranted/117/seeing-green Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:40:20 -0400 Ranted Yummmmm.  That looks good, I’ll take two.  So, let’s just say that I need a new grill STAT.  I was feeling good last night, all the food had been prepped for dinner, I had spent a lot of time with[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/115/fried-chicken http://www.ooph.com/ranted/115/fried-chicken Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:03:59 -0400 Ranted one pineapple, peeled and slice in circles1/4 teaspoon saltthree tablespoons of butter1/2 teaspoon honey1/2 teaspoon brown sugar2 dashes Tabasco sauceMarinate for one hour.  Grill 2-3 minutes per side over direct medium heat.[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/114/grilled-pineapple http://www.ooph.com/cooked/114/grilled-pineapple Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:49:49 -0400 Cooked   I was over at a friend's house a few months ago and we munched on this zuchini.  It was delicious.  three zucchinis, cut lengthwise and in half1/2 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon garlic powderone teaspoon lemon pepper1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheeseolive oilCoat zucchini[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/113/grilled-zuchini http://www.ooph.com/cooked/113/grilled-zuchini Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:38:56 -0400 Cooked Beer Can Chicken (If you dare)one whole chicken (4 - 6 pounds)1/2 stick of butter, meltedone can of beer, room temperaturejuice of one lemon8 cloves of garlic, peeledone bunch of thymetwo tablespoons salttwo teaspoons pepperClean out inside of chicken and[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/112/lemon-and-thyme-beer-can-chicken http://www.ooph.com/cooked/112/lemon-and-thyme-beer-can-chicken Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:32:47 -0400 Cooked   I LOVE Self Magazine.  It keeps me motivated, gives me great ideas for updating my workouts, fabulous sex tips, makeup tips, style tips, etc.  I can’t get enough of their “flashes” (tiny little tidbits on how to be happy or[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/111/summer-fun-list http://www.ooph.com/ranted/111/summer-fun-list Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:37:28 -0400 Ranted Yesterday I dropped Keenan and two of his friends off at the beach. I explained, as if to four year olds (and then made them repeat it back to me) that I would return for them at 5:15 p.m. and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/110/mother-of-the-year http://www.ooph.com/ranted/110/mother-of-the-year Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:45:44 -0400 Ranted We bought our current house about five years ago.  It was originally built in 1978 and had mirrored wallpaper covered with ferns and large blue birds, yellow linoleum kitchen countertops, white carpet everywhere and an insanely large blue bathtub in[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/108/the-switch http://www.ooph.com/ranted/108/the-switch Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:09:01 -0400 Ranted Yesterday Colton and I went down to a little pizza joint in Del Mar.  They have a fabulous salad that I recently discovered and I can’t get enough of it. I'm not kidding, I have had it four days in[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/107/mr-california http://www.ooph.com/said/107/mr-california Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:26:49 -0400 Said Chapter OneMy brother was born on a cold and gray Indiana day in February, 1974. I was three years old at the time of his birth. My heart swelled the first moment I laid eyes on his red cheeks and[...] http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/109/memoirs http://www.ooph.com/memoirs/109/memoirs Wed, 15 Jul 2009 10:36:05 -0400 memoirs Yesterday was a good old fashioned day in the yard. Can't you just remember running through the sprinklers, playing on the slip-n-slide and having water balloon fights like it was yesterday? I bet our parents didn't watch us thinking, holy[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/105/the-dog-days-of-summer http://www.ooph.com/ranted/105/the-dog-days-of-summer Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:01:25 -0400 Ranted Yesterday J left on a business trip so it was just me and the boys for the evening.  I made a good old summer meal on the grill of burgers, dogs and corn on the cob.  I handed Colton his[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/104/forgotten-female http://www.ooph.com/said/104/forgotten-female Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:57:20 -0400 Said Yesterday we spent a glorious summer day at the beach. By noon Colton, who woke up at 5:00, was FEISTY.  I was trying to get some food in his system before his head started spinning and green crap came spewing[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/103/attitude http://www.ooph.com/said/103/attitude Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:40:52 -0400 Said A good friend of mine turned me onto to this perfect summer meal.  They are fairly easy and DELICIOUS.  Serve with a good chardonnay and some grilled zucchini.  Shrimp Tacos3 tablespoons olive oil1 tablespoon butter8 cloves garlic, sliced1 1/2 pounds[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/102/shrimp-tacos-and-homemade-guacamole http://www.ooph.com/cooked/102/shrimp-tacos-and-homemade-guacamole Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:06:46 -0400 Cooked   Noah and Keenan are on vacation with their dad. We stay in touch by texting. Here's a little snippet. Me: How was your day? Noah: Great. I went mountain biking. Me:  Sweet! Did you wipeout? Noah:  Yep I slammed my balls into the handle[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/101/bonding http://www.ooph.com/said/101/bonding Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:49:39 -0400 Said I am a VERY nosy, email checking, Facebook following kind of mom.  That doesn’t mean my kids don’t get in trouble, they do, but I feel like if I stay a step ahead of them, I can help them, help[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/100/the-importance-of-spying-on-your-kids http://www.ooph.com/ranted/100/the-importance-of-spying-on-your-kids Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:07:09 -0400 Ranted Yesterday on our way to the imac store, we stopped by my friend's coffee shop and she gave Colton his first pack of Smarties. Unlike other sweets, he coveted every single piece. He slowly ate each one, discussing the flavor[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/99/papa-is-my-favorite http://www.ooph.com/ranted/99/papa-is-my-favorite Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:40:03 -0400 Ranted Clearly they are fraternal and not identical twins.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/98/twins http://www.ooph.com/ranted/98/twins Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:06:23 -0400 Ranted   I stood by idly while The Guiding Light was cancelled. Then yesterday I was horrified to see that Days of our Lives is facing cancellation as well. I suppose there is nothing to do but let my dirty little secret[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/97/save-the-soaps http://www.ooph.com/ranted/97/save-the-soaps Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:30:54 -0400 Ranted   J has hats, shirts and other John Deere crap floating all around this house.  He tells me all the time that if I really wanted to make him happy I would go out and purchase the above item and surprise[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/96/confusing-your-dears-and-deeres http://www.ooph.com/said/96/confusing-your-dears-and-deeres Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:26:46 -0400 Said Colton attended his first summer camp this week. To his absolute delight it was FINALLY his turn to play a sport.  It was a bit tough to explain to him why the whole family, two cameras, several chairs and a[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/95/where-are-all-my-fans http://www.ooph.com/ranted/95/where-are-all-my-fans Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:51:33 -0400 Ranted Keenan recently started babysitting for Colton.  We haven't gone far, just to dinner in our little village or to friends for a barbeque.  Its a win for everyone.  Colton loves hanging with his big brother, Keenan loves earning some dough[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/94/im-a-big-boy-now http://www.ooph.com/said/94/im-a-big-boy-now Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:33:38 -0400 Said   On occasion both older boys are out of the house for the night and we put Colton down early and have what my friends and I call a “self contained” party.  Saturday night was one of those fabulous nights.   It[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/91/date-night http://www.ooph.com/ranted/91/date-night Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted Our date night dinner consisted of tri-tip (pre-marinated from our favorite local store, Seaside Market), grilled asparagus and grilled corn with parmesan-basil spread.  For desert I made my mother-in-laws homemade chocolate sauce which is divine and unfortunately I am not[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/93/date-night-dinner http://www.ooph.com/cooked/93/date-night-dinner Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:09:15 -0400 Cooked   I was doing dishes on Saturday when Colton started yelling from the front yard.  I had the music playing and the water was running so I couldn't make out what he was saying.  I kept yelling back, "I can't hear[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/90/a-goose-a-goose http://www.ooph.com/said/90/a-goose-a-goose Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:46:53 -0400 Said Is there anything sweeter than this? Look at the proud look on his face as he brings the flowers he just picked for me. Wouldn't it be great if our husband's felt the same way about getting us flowers?[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/89/flowers-for-me http://www.ooph.com/ranted/89/flowers-for-me Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:36:14 -0400 Ranted   This morning Colton and I were playing with his letter flashcards.  He loves to say the letter and then the sound, so I figured it was time to teach him how to add the sounds together to form a word.[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/88/smarty-pants http://www.ooph.com/said/88/smarty-pants Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:07:18 -0400 Said   “The Good Mother remembers to serve fruit at breakfast, is always cheerful and never yells, manages not to project her own neuroses and inadequacies onto her children, is an active and beloved community volunteer; she remembers to make playdates, her[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/87/bad-mother http://www.ooph.com/booked/87/bad-mother Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:12:56 -0400 Booked   What I discovered today has me even more excited than half-price wine Tuesdays.   A little background.  I am SOOOO OVER being my family’s secretary.  I don’t mind keeping our calendar in my computer and transferring it weekly to our white[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/85/just-plain-giddy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/85/just-plain-giddy Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:51:52 -0400 Ranted There are some people around here that are sad that our vacation is coming to an end. Then there are others who can't wait to get home and lock themselves in their room with a bottle of wine and watch[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/84/on-the-road-again http://www.ooph.com/ranted/84/on-the-road-again Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:03:33 -0400 Ranted Remember that vision of J and I in the hot tub together late night?  I never even had time to put my big toe in it.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/83/some-day http://www.ooph.com/ranted/83/some-day Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:34:15 -0400 Ranted   We are in Park City for a family vacation tagged on to a lacrosse tournament for Keenan. Saturday was the first day of the tourney and we had to be out of the house by 8:00a.m. to have Keenan at[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/82/everyone-is-happy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/82/everyone-is-happy Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:22:58 -0400 Ranted   I learned something new about my husband this week which is kind of sexy since we have been together a long time.  He does this to the cheese on his sandwich.  I thought it was really stupid and made fun[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/81/cheesy http://www.ooph.com/ranted/81/cheesy Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:04:44 -0400 Ranted   Every now and then I might just have had a bad enough day to move all the clocks in the house up an hour and send my kids to bed early.  What?  Like you haven’t thought about it.  Do you[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/80/we-wont-be-moving-to-the-mountains http://www.ooph.com/ranted/80/we-wont-be-moving-to-the-mountains Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:03:26 -0400 Ranted Why do we take bowling so seriously?  By "we" I don't just mean my family.  Look around the alley next time you are there.  Everyone is cussing or throwing their arms up in the air in frustration.  It's as if[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/79/bowling http://www.ooph.com/ranted/79/bowling Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:37:53 -0400 Ranted Sadly, I have passed the AWFUL red cheek gene on to Colton.  It is a horrible fate to have everyone know when you are excited or embarrassed.  Just ask my brother.  He still can't ask a girl out on a[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/78/sweet-cheeks http://www.ooph.com/ranted/78/sweet-cheeks Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:30:48 -0400 Ranted   Keenan’s "promotion ceremony" was really sweet.  I confess I cried a tear or two.  This photo looks like he is saying, “HOLY CRAP, I did it!”   Right after graduation, we hit the road.  After a long day of driving, Keenan[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/77/we-have-arrived http://www.ooph.com/ranted/77/we-have-arrived Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:03:54 -0400 Ranted   This morning we are leaving for a week long vacation in Park City.  Keenan has a lacrosse tournament there this coming weekend so we decided to make a family trip out of it.  We are renting the cutest house that[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/76/off-we-go http://www.ooph.com/ranted/76/off-we-go Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:58:35 -0400 Ranted   I woke up Saturday morning fed the kids and raced off to my hair appointment.  After two hours of bliss at the hairdresser I bolted to Keenan’s lacrosse game where he scored his team’s only goal.   After the game, a[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/75/stay-on-your-toes http://www.ooph.com/said/75/stay-on-your-toes Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:48:38 -0400 Said Finally, the new site is here.  As you navigate your way through, don't hesitate to contact me with any odd things you come across, we will get them fixed straight away. Be sure to sign up for the Ooph Newsletter,[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/67/im-so-confused http://www.ooph.com/said/67/im-so-confused Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:46:44 -0400 Said   I write about my teenage son, Keenan, a lot because having a teenager is a journey into a place that takes your breath.  Sometimes in a way that brings you to your knees in tears of frustration and hurt and[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/72/these-are-the-days http://www.ooph.com/ranted/72/these-are-the-days Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:46:29 -0400 Ranted   Yesterday Noah was playing Xbox and Colton was “playing” next to him.  That means he has a controller that isn’t plugged in and he thinks he is the other guy playing against Noah.  Taking a page from his brother, he[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/71/thats-not-what-i-meant http://www.ooph.com/said/71/thats-not-what-i-meant Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:45:19 -0400 Said I have been complaining to my husband that our jacaranda tree hasn’t bloomed and looks like crap and that he should fertilize it or something.  “Be patient”, he would say.   Has he met me?  About a week ago, right[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/69/careful-what-you-wish-for http://www.ooph.com/ranted/69/careful-what-you-wish-for Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:27:12 -0400 Ranted This evening Colton came running over with a photo that he picked up off of my husband’s desk.  As he got closer he began sobbing and clearly horrified yells, “Where’s me in this?”   It was a photo taken a couple[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/30/how-could-it-be http://www.ooph.com/said/30/how-could-it-be Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:08:13 -0400 Said my thoughts exactly As I prepare to spend my afternoon meeting with Keenan and his physics teacher to figure out how he has EIGHT missing assignments (what does it take to get a phone call around here?) juggle four lacrosse playoff[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/70/my-thoughts-exactly http://www.ooph.com/ranted/70/my-thoughts-exactly Sat, 06 Jun 2009 15:29:54 -0400 Ranted About a month ago an odor began in my pantry. It started out very faint and blended well with the other odors that reside in this house of boys.  However, by the beginning of this week, there wasn’t a bathroom[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/54/if-it-smells-like-a-rat http://www.ooph.com/ranted/54/if-it-smells-like-a-rat Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:29:43 -0400 Ranted I am working on a new book and am crazy about it.  About a year ago our bookclub, after reading “They Poured Fire on Us from the Sky” invited the author, Judy Bernstein, to come and speak.  It is an[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/53/new-book-in-the-works http://www.ooph.com/ranted/53/new-book-in-the-works Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:28:46 -0400 Ranted Noah:  Mom, do we have one of those popsicle maker thingies?  (Seeing my quizzical look, he adds.)  You know, it has a bunch of squares in it. Me:  Do you mean an ice cube tray? Apparently my kids have no idea that[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/29/the-good-old-days http://www.ooph.com/said/29/the-good-old-days Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:06:59 -0400 Said Colton told me this morning that he had a meeting to go to and he needed a tie and a “meeting bag” like papa.  You can tell by the smile on his face how happy it makes him to pretend[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/66/i-have-a-meeting http://www.ooph.com/ranted/66/i-have-a-meeting Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:30:14 -0400 Ranted This is the view from the corner of my street.  Every April this field blooms and it makes me long for the lazy days of summer.  A time when I don’t have to wake up at 6:30 everyday, lunches don’t[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/60/peaceful-days-of-summer http://www.ooph.com/ranted/60/peaceful-days-of-summer Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:58:59 -0400 Ranted   I use this recipe often.  I especially love it on chilly days.  It warms up the house as it cooks for almost two hours at 425 degrees.  The best part is the way it smells.  There is something magical about[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/58/thyme-roasted-chicken http://www.ooph.com/cooked/58/thyme-roasted-chicken Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:44:40 -0400 Cooked   This is a twisted and delicious look into the life of Jeannette Walls.  From the first sentence it hooks you. “I was sitting in a taxi, wondering if I was overdressed for the evening, when I looked out the window[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/56/glass-castle http://www.ooph.com/booked/56/glass-castle Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:34:53 -0400 Booked   A friend of mine told me about this book after watching the authors on Oprah.  I was a little put out by the name because I would NEVER trade my husband for a housekeeper.  That’s not completely true.  If my[...] http://www.ooph.com/booked/55/id-trade-my-husband-for-a-housekeeper http://www.ooph.com/booked/55/id-trade-my-husband-for-a-housekeeper Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:32:29 -0400 Booked   At the market, trying to check out while Colton is slamming the cart into my legs and screaming that he wants to go. Stranger at the Market:  Wow he has a lot of energy. What he was really saying:  Your kid is[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/21/people-say-dumb-shit http://www.ooph.com/said/21/people-say-dumb-shit Mon, 01 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Said There is something about curly hair, gapped teeth and goggles that gets me every time. [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/63/swimming-lessons http://www.ooph.com/ranted/63/swimming-lessons Sun, 31 May 2009 18:13:06 -0400 Ranted My husband went and picked out Mother’s Day cards from each of the boys.  When he got home he handed them their cards to fill out.  I was standing around the corner and overheard this conversation. JJ:  Boys, put something really[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/28/mothers-day-with-boys http://www.ooph.com/said/28/mothers-day-with-boys Fri, 22 May 2009 16:06:18 -0400 Said Today consisted of a Mother’s Day program, an afternoon of swim at a friends, rushing over to Noah’s lacrosse game, rushing off to Keenan’s hair appointment and then meeting up for dinner.  Fun, but exhausting.  I am finally sitting down[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/27/rusty-instincts http://www.ooph.com/said/27/rusty-instincts Wed, 20 May 2009 16:05:06 -0400 Said I listen to the sound of a toddler screaming at me, the neighbors ridiculous leaf blower, the church under construction across the street, the sound of “can I have this and that”, the slamming of a door when I say[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/32/noise-noise-noise http://www.ooph.com/ranted/32/noise-noise-noise Wed, 13 May 2009 16:24:02 -0400 Ranted Colton and I like to sing in the car.  Actually, Colton likes to sing, I just do anything not to have to answer 275 “whys” before we even get to the end of our street.  Yesterday we were singing, “The[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/26/it-all-makes-sense http://www.ooph.com/said/26/it-all-makes-sense Wed, 13 May 2009 16:03:28 -0400 Said This photo was taken from our back patio last night while JJ and I sat outside enjoying a cocktail and the kids ran around playing lacrosse.  Most nights several hot air balloons fly over our home.  It’s one of my[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/65/beauty http://www.ooph.com/ranted/65/beauty Tue, 12 May 2009 18:26:04 -0400 Ranted The kids thought she was cold.  I can’t even get this kind of treatment on Mother’s Day.  Perhaps she garners such respect by farting so loudly that she runs away with her tail between her legs in fear.  Hmmm... [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/64/no-respect http://www.ooph.com/ranted/64/no-respect Tue, 12 May 2009 18:19:27 -0400 Ranted I am taking Keenan and Noah to see a movie tomorrow night.  It is titled, “Emmanuel,” and is the story of a Lost Boy from Sudan.  He now lives in England and has put out an album titled, Warchild.  The[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/25/im-not-that-bad http://www.ooph.com/said/25/im-not-that-bad Tue, 12 May 2009 16:02:25 -0400 Said Last Saturday night my girlfriend turned 40.  Being newly single, she wanted to go downtown, stay in a swanky hotel and be seen.  There is a point in ones life when going out to a downtown night club makes about[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/51/what-rhymes-with-lugar http://www.ooph.com/ranted/51/what-rhymes-with-lugar Sun, 10 May 2009 17:26:34 -0400 Ranted JJ showered before me last night.  When it was my turn, I turned the water on for my shower and stepped inside.  Then, I stepped right back out. Me:  (Very loudly) JJ JJ:  (Comes running from the other room, assuming a spider,[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/24/dude http://www.ooph.com/said/24/dude Fri, 08 May 2009 16:01:26 -0400 Said Every time Colton sees a baby on television he says, “Is that me when I was a baby?”  I usually respond, “No sweetie, that baby isn’t screaming.”   Last night we were watching America’s Funniest Home Videos, and there was a video[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/23/you-were-sweet-sometimes http://www.ooph.com/said/23/you-were-sweet-sometimes Thu, 07 May 2009 15:59:59 -0400 Said Sometimes life hands you something so juicy and you can’t write about it.  This morning was one of those moments.   The situation took my breath  and the reaction of my child was priceless.   Not telling you is as[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/57/rosemary-chicken-breasts-rice-and-asparagus http://www.ooph.com/cooked/57/rosemary-chicken-breasts-rice-and-asparagus Fri, 01 May 2009 17:43:29 -0400 Cooked Colton has a backpack that is from the movie Cars and when you push a button it sounds like a car with a missing muffler for thirty seconds.  Seriously, even their backpacks have to make noise now?  Clearly my girlfriend[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/22/liar-liar-pants-on-fire http://www.ooph.com/said/22/liar-liar-pants-on-fire Fri, 01 May 2009 15:58:53 -0400 Said Apparently three years ago I gave birth to a rooster.  Every morning at 5:30 a.m. I awaken to the sound of feet pattering into my room.  He climbs into our bed and instead of falling back asleep, he begins the[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/50/where-is-the-damn-sandman http://www.ooph.com/ranted/50/where-is-the-damn-sandman Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:25:45 -0400 Ranted Parenting teens these days would send even June and Ward Cleaver to the liquor cabinet.  There are just too many avenues in which to find trouble.  Facebook, cell phones, the movie theater, the school parking lot, etc. Trying to stay[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/49/parenting-teens-takes-wine http://www.ooph.com/ranted/49/parenting-teens-takes-wine Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:25:04 -0400 Ranted   I found a post-it note on the floor in the kitchen this morning after the boys left for school.  These six words were written on it. dinkweed poontang pussy vagina titties asses Perhaps they were hoping for a new dog and trying to come up with names.[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/48/dinkweed http://www.ooph.com/ranted/48/dinkweed Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:24:01 -0400 Ranted After a week of meetings, an abnormally high volume of carpooling and lacrosse stress, the laundry has piled up.  My guess is that about half of this was never worn.  It was instead a casualty of being on top of[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/62/birth-control http://www.ooph.com/ranted/62/birth-control Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:07:04 -0400 Ranted Last night I was given the horrific opportunity of telling my son that he didn’t make the second team in six months that he tried out for.  There are no words for the agony.   I read the email that notified[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/47/ooph-that-hurts http://www.ooph.com/ranted/47/ooph-that-hurts Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:23:11 -0400 Ranted My oldest son was given an incredible opportunity this week.  His coach nominated him to tryout for a lacrosse team that will travel to New York in June and compete against other cities in a national championship.  There were sixty[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/46/calm-your-shit-down http://www.ooph.com/ranted/46/calm-your-shit-down Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:22:10 -0400 Ranted I was waiting for the car in front of me to turn left so I could turn this morning when Colton said exactly what I was thinking. Colton:  Go dumbass. Oopsy.  Thankfully my husband was not in the car or I would[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/20/thats-my-bad http://www.ooph.com/said/20/thats-my-bad Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:49:37 -0400 Said I was reading an article on the founders of “My Parents Joined Facebook”.   The site is hysterical.  It shows blurbs of what parents write on their children’s Facebook.  Clearly I am not one of “those” parents.   I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/45/im-still-cool-right http://www.ooph.com/ranted/45/im-still-cool-right Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:41:30 -0400 Ranted There are days when I sit and wonder why my head is so screwed up.  Then there are days when I know for sure. My Mother:  (via voicemail)  Hi honey.  Actually things are going pretty good right now.  Knock on wood. [...] http://www.ooph.com/said/19/like-mother-like-daughter http://www.ooph.com/said/19/like-mother-like-daughter Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:48:09 -0400 Said There should be some legislature put in place to regulate nudity in locker rooms.  I am not one of those people who hides in a bathroom stall to change my clothes, but I am discreet.  I will keep a towel[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/44/put-some-clothes-on http://www.ooph.com/ranted/44/put-some-clothes-on Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:40:45 -0400 Ranted I learned a new word over spring break.   shart (sharht)  -verb   to shit and fart simultaneously In a sentence: Noah:  Colton is pooping on the toilet.  Before that he sharted in his pants. That pretty much sums up my week at home with the three[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/18/thats-disgusting http://www.ooph.com/said/18/thats-disgusting Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:47:14 -0400 Said   My husband is out of town for business at least one night per week.  Which means a long couple of days alone with the kids and then the dreaded bedtime routine all by my lonesome.    Last week he had to[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/43/flight-to-freedom http://www.ooph.com/ranted/43/flight-to-freedom Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted It’s Spring Break this week.  My older boys are with their dad for the week and Keenan text me this morning, why bother to call, and asked if he could come to my house for the day.  I told him[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/17/because-he-likes-me http://www.ooph.com/said/17/because-he-likes-me Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:45:14 -0400 Said Yesterday Noah and I were on our way to his lacrosse practice when the song,  “I Love College,”  by Asher Roth came on.  Some of the lyrics are, blah blah blah, naked girls, chug, chug, chug, sex.  You get the[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/16/lost-in-a-memory http://www.ooph.com/said/16/lost-in-a-memory Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:43:49 -0400 Said 5:00 a.m. Awake to the sound of Colton’s feet padding down the hall to my room. Ooph. 5:00 a.m. Roll over to J to tell him to get up and take Colton.  Have heart stopping realization that he is out of[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/40/tough-start http://www.ooph.com/ranted/40/tough-start Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:37:20 -0400 Ranted 9:45 p.m. on Sunday evening just putting muffins into oven and apparently living in a fairy tale world. Me:  Some day the kids are going to really appreciate that I made homemade muffins and cookies for their class parties. J:  They totally[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/15/no-respect http://www.ooph.com/said/15/no-respect Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:20:24 -0400 Said My husband and Colton name everything.  Every single stuffed animal that enters the front door, Colton’s blankets, the furniture, every damn object in my home has a name.  It drives me crazy.  I can barely remember my kids’ names, let[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/39/our-hummingbird-charlie http://www.ooph.com/ranted/39/our-hummingbird-charlie Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:31:35 -0400 Ranted I went to register Keenan for high school yesterday and ran into a kid that, in my son’s words, is geeky.  Not all kids can be jocks, there isn’t anything wrong with being geeky, just look at Bill Gates.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/38/my-twisted-mind http://www.ooph.com/ranted/38/my-twisted-mind Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:30:44 -0400 Ranted   My husband, Keenan, Noah and even Colton (because he just mimicks everyone else in this house) were up in arms by what I said to a girl that called my home for Keenan on Saturday.  Perhaps it was a little[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/37/whats-in-a-name http://www.ooph.com/ranted/37/whats-in-a-name Sat, 21 Mar 2009 16:29:57 -0400 Ranted   There are a few moments in a mom’s life that are undefinably big.  Giving birth, kindergarten, a fat glass of wine at the end of a long day, to name a few.   Tonight I am taking Keenan to his high[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/35/fast-times-at-keenan-high http://www.ooph.com/ranted/35/fast-times-at-keenan-high Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:27:27 -0400 Ranted Colton is absolutely petrified of Santa.  To prove that point, he is still, at the end of March, telling me he doesn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap. Colton:  I don’t want to sit on Santa’s lap. Me: You don’t ever have[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/14/big-like-papa http://www.ooph.com/said/14/big-like-papa Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:19:25 -0400 Said   If people out there would drive in a more civilized manner, I would not be continuously forced to come up with crazy rhymes.  Yesterday when I was cut off while merging onto the highway, the word asshole slipped out before[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/61/what-rhymes-with-asshole http://www.ooph.com/said/61/what-rhymes-with-asshole Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:05:25 -0400 Said I try not to take it personally when Colton gets excited to the point of jumping up and down when I mention that a sitter is coming.  I shake it off when my girlfriends come over and he asks me[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/36/snubbed-at-starbucks http://www.ooph.com/ranted/36/snubbed-at-starbucks Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:28:46 -0400 Ranted I spent this weekend at a friends house up north.  My older boys were away snowboarding with my ex-husband, so I took Colton and hit the road.  My husband had a fabulous two days alone in the house.  What is[...] http://www.ooph.com/ranted/33/eat-your-ice-cream http://www.ooph.com/ranted/33/eat-your-ice-cream Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:24:54 -0400 Ranted Further reminder that I live in a locker room. Colton:  “I want to poop on you.” Me.  “Colton James that’s disgusting!  We don’t say things like that.” Colton:  With a grin.   “I want to fart on you.” Me.  “Colton, I mean it.  Stop[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/10/potty-mouth http://www.ooph.com/said/10/potty-mouth Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Said   Monday Me: “Keenan make sure you arrange for a ride to and from your party on Saturday night because JJ and I are going to be out of town.  I can do both nights on Friday to make up for someone[...] http://www.ooph.com/said/9/dude-get-a-ride http://www.ooph.com/said/9/dude-get-a-ride Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Said I tried a recipe from Everyday Pasta by Giada De Laurentiis about a year ago.  I don’t love ground turkey or parsley, and didn’t want to bother with the artichokes, so I changed it to meet my needs.  I made[...] http://www.ooph.com/cooked/59/sausage-stuffed-pasta-shells http://www.ooph.com/cooked/59/sausage-stuffed-pasta-shells Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:55:43 -0400 Cooked