I love you people. Thanks for making me laugh. http://is.gd/eTxJN 
I am going to New York y’all.
Note: I don’t actually say y’all. EVER. But. I have family who does and the Guilty Squid (Please read her Steve Jobs Post. Read it. Hilarious. You’re welcome. I laughed so hard I cried.) did it the other day and I was all. WOW. People who say y’all are really excited. And also. Really cool. So I tried it out. What do you think?
Anyway. I am going to New York y’all. I have NEVER been. Damn straight. Never. I have been to Italy and France and Croatia and England and Switzerland and all over the United States of America. But? I have NEVER been to New York. And? I have ALWAYS, my whole entire life, always, always, always, always dreamt of going to New York.
And now y’all? I. Am. Going. (Am I using y’all too much? That’s what I do. Get a new word. Overuse it. And single-handedly take the cool out of it.)
I could implode with the excitement. What should I see? Where should I eat? Where to shop? What Broadway show to pick? What in the hell will I wear?
It’s like when I was six years old and I stole ten dollars out of my dad’s wallet and I stood in the candy aisle for like TWO WHOLE HOURS because who can fucking decide with all those choices and ALL that free money.
I finally chose, but as I sat huddled in my closet eating ten dollars worth of a stomach ache, I had my regrets. I should totally have gotten the Boston Baked Beans. And. Why did I get suckered into these wax lips again? Gross. Also. Would these bubble gum cigarettes create a habit?
Which brings me to my New York trip. (y’all) What if I have regrets? I mean, it has taken me 39 years to get there and if it takes me another 39 years to get back. I will be....WOW.
So. Here is my plan. The first night I arrive I am going to a Yankees game. HOLLA. Because there is NO WAY on this quickly warming planet that this sport loving ass of mine is going to New York without seeing the Yankees. And? I am totally buying a Yankees hat. And. Wearing it. All. The. Time. (Another note: I love the Padres. Don’t leave hate comments my SD posse. The hat is just a fashion statement. Duh.)
The next morning, in an effort to rid myself of the chili dog with cheese and onions and relish and ketchup and mustard and the four beers at the game and the peanuts and cotton candy and the cocktails I will have later that evening. I am going for a run in Central Park. If you see someone that looks like they are running but they are moving so slow they appear to be going backwards. That is me. Say hi. I would love to stop and talk.
I am going to try and do SoHo, see the Statue of Lib (not go in), Ground Zero (Because I can’t help but go there and cry. Finally.) The Met, Wall Street and Union Square. In two days. What else? Tell me. What candy am I missing? Don’t let me have Boston Baked Beans regrets. HALP.
Also. I will be attending this itsy bitsy bloggers’ conference. Anyone else going?
Ooph - Because sometimes life takes your breath away
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1. Victoria Landingham said:
dude u are so in denial......not one word on shopping......good god you need serious help!!!!!!! xoxoxo cant wait to see you purchases.....must take pictures and post so we can vote on our faves!!!!!!!!
ps i hope you get in the questions taxi!!!!! whatever its called.....would love to see your sweet ass on tv!!!!!!!
ps i hope you get in the questions taxi!!!!! whatever its called.....would love to see your sweet ass on tv!!!!!!!
08/02/10 20:55 PM - Reply
2. Amy Phillips said:
I may have heard something about this conference. Yeah, I might pop over for a bit.
08/01/10 21:16 PM - Reply
3. Can't It Be About Me said:
Regarding the use of ya'll: Being from good ole West Texas, I'd like to say that using ya'l is definitely cool. It must be cause use it all the time. And, yes, I am cool.
07/29/10 18:03 PM - Reply
4. Julie said:
I love this post. I'm so excited for you to finally get to NYC. And I am going to be looking for an super excited Cali gal wearing her Yankees hat so I can say hello. (though, ahem, GO PHILS!)
Oh. And the "ya'll" thing? I TWEETED "DUDE" last week when I was in Cali. I never tweet dude. I don't even say dude. So your ya'll? I totally get it.
Oh. And the "ya'll" thing? I TWEETED "DUDE" last week when I was in Cali. I never tweet dude. I don't even say dude. So your ya'll? I totally get it.
07/29/10 16:56 PM - Reply
5. Ginger said:
I lived in NY for 3 years before moving (thankfully!) to SD. Here's my standard spiel on NY for visitors (and some locals--they don't know what they're missing half the time):
Do one of the doubledecker bus tours. For real. I know, I know, it's touristy as all hell, but 1)it gives you a REALLY great overview of the city 2)it can speed you through all the major tourist attractions 3)you will see areas that you never knew you'd want to hit up (for me the first time it was the West Village). You'll then be able to decide where you want to either go back to or you can do the hop on/hop off thing when you get somewhere cool. Only ride on top, and if you have a crappy guide, change to another bus.
Every time we had visitors in NY, we did the bus tour first with them, then we were able to determine based on what they liked on the tour, what to do the rest of the time. That way they weren't disappointed by Rockefeller Center if they were really more of a Soho person, you know?
Other than that, my only advice is: don't dawdle down the middle of the sidewalk looking around unless you want to annoy the locals, don't be afraid to ask people for directions (New Yorkers are actually some of the nicest people I've met when it comes to help on the streets), and make sure you check out Times Square at night even if just for a few minutes to see the insanity.
Oh, and if you want real candy, check out Dylan's Candy Bar, the mecca of all things sugary.
Do one of the doubledecker bus tours. For real. I know, I know, it's touristy as all hell, but 1)it gives you a REALLY great overview of the city 2)it can speed you through all the major tourist attractions 3)you will see areas that you never knew you'd want to hit up (for me the first time it was the West Village). You'll then be able to decide where you want to either go back to or you can do the hop on/hop off thing when you get somewhere cool. Only ride on top, and if you have a crappy guide, change to another bus.
Every time we had visitors in NY, we did the bus tour first with them, then we were able to determine based on what they liked on the tour, what to do the rest of the time. That way they weren't disappointed by Rockefeller Center if they were really more of a Soho person, you know?
Other than that, my only advice is: don't dawdle down the middle of the sidewalk looking around unless you want to annoy the locals, don't be afraid to ask people for directions (New Yorkers are actually some of the nicest people I've met when it comes to help on the streets), and make sure you check out Times Square at night even if just for a few minutes to see the insanity.
Oh, and if you want real candy, check out Dylan's Candy Bar, the mecca of all things sugary.
07/29/10 13:49 PM - Reply
6. Nic @mybottlesup said:
stay through sunday and hang with me... cuz that's when i roll in to NYC y'all.
07/29/10 13:47 PM - Reply
7. Guilty Squid said:
My plan is to have TheNextMartha attend wearing my face on her shirt.
And really, my way totally beats anyone's business cards in terms of being "memorable".
Y'all? Seriously? How flattered am I that I'm mentioned in this post?
Pretty freaking flattered is the answer to that.
And really, my way totally beats anyone's business cards in terms of being "memorable".
Y'all? Seriously? How flattered am I that I'm mentioned in this post?
Pretty freaking flattered is the answer to that.
07/29/10 12:23 PM - Reply
8. Alex@lateenough said:
I'm going to blogher. But I don't plan on leaving the hotel unless forced by aliens. Or friends. So let me know!
07/29/10 11:52 AM - Reply
9. Jenny said:
I'd recommend all kinds of non-touristy stuff - but since it's your first time, you gotta do all the touristy stuff - so go to the top of the Empire State Building for sure!
07/29/10 09:56 AM - Reply
10. Musings de Mommy said:
Love it! I'll be there, too. At BlogHer (my first time). And when I meet you (which I hope I get to do), I'll say, "Boy Howdy, it's great to meet you!" (Which was my catch phrase a coupla months back...you might remember...)
I'm not New Yorker, but make sure you leave some time to just soak up the kinetic energy of the people, the sidewalks, all the dots that connect and make New York, well, New York.
See you soon!
I'm not New Yorker, but make sure you leave some time to just soak up the kinetic energy of the people, the sidewalks, all the dots that connect and make New York, well, New York.
See you soon!
07/29/10 08:17 AM - Reply
11. Lauren Hirsh said:
Ahhhhh, OOOOPPPHHHH! So excited for you! Make sure you watch Sex in the city first so you get your 'Carrie on' and pick your clothes wisely! True New Yorkers can spot a virgin miles away! It's all about the shoes, girlfriend.
I can call one of my soul sisters who has been a New Yorker for 100 years and ask her what restaurants are on the must see lists these days, but you seem to have it all covered. Enjoy that new stadium too, and give Jeter my love, he's single again, right@?! I was lucky enough to get to make it to a game in the old stadium (despite the fact that I now hate the man I sat next two during my one and only trip to the Baseball Mecca). It was truly a memorable day. Make sure you eat a freakin' hot dog. There's just nothing like them in the world. (and I was such a vegetarian - and I still ate the freakin hot dog).
Enjoy your trip! Enjoy that run! I can see the central park streets in my head now, wish I could go with you girls!
Have fun!
LH
I can call one of my soul sisters who has been a New Yorker for 100 years and ask her what restaurants are on the must see lists these days, but you seem to have it all covered. Enjoy that new stadium too, and give Jeter my love, he's single again, right@?! I was lucky enough to get to make it to a game in the old stadium (despite the fact that I now hate the man I sat next two during my one and only trip to the Baseball Mecca). It was truly a memorable day. Make sure you eat a freakin' hot dog. There's just nothing like them in the world. (and I was such a vegetarian - and I still ate the freakin hot dog).
Enjoy your trip! Enjoy that run! I can see the central park streets in my head now, wish I could go with you girls!
Have fun!
LH
07/28/10 22:10 PM - Reply
12. Martha Replacement said:
Can I just follow you? That all sounds great. I think I'm going to the same conference but I'm not sure because I'm too busy planning other stuff. Go Food!
07/28/10 21:13 PM - Reply
13. F*ck Yeah, Motherhood! said:
I am also a NY virgin AND a San Diegan (though currently terrorizing the East Coast in a way that has them begging me to MOVE BACK HOME). I'm looking forward to going to this thing, getting some swag, giving some swag, and being generally adored/adoring. I hope I run into you there, because California girls are sisters 4 lyf.
07/28/10 21:12 PM - Reply
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