I did not like kids until I had my own- now I have four, and even though they are all technically mine, I do not even like all four of THEM at the same time on most days. So good luck with all that!

xoxo,
Parental Glass Half Empty ;)

People shouldn't have kids because it's "the next step" after getting married. Being a parent isn't for everyone. Not wanting kids is fine. And yes, OPK constantly annoy me. Not because mine is a saint mind you.

To Mr. Bobby Pin, I say sometimes it does all work out. There is a bit of truth to that statement. When we decided to get pregnant, we were totally freaked out and played the 'what if' game until it made us crazy. 7 years into being a parent I can say that for us, things have worked out because we made them work out.

Kids have a way of making you 'more.' More, resilient, more patient (except of OPK, LOL!), more empathetic etc. etc. Unfortunately, IMHO you won't know these things about yourself until you have one.

I love being a mom. I love my kid. Do I wish I'd chosen differently? No. Do I wish I could just walk away occasionally? Sure. [This is where involved grandparents come in really handy!] Parenting is a 24/7 job. It can be physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. But my little dude is the best thing I've ever done.

You guys will figure out what's right for you. It may turn out that kids aren't your path. That's perfectly fine. One of my BFF's loves her Auntie title and has no desire to trade it in. Continue to enjoy each other. That's what really maters.

I never wanted kids... like never. I had a high flying career, I was living the high life and everything was great. And then at the age of 35 I discovered I was pregnant. It was a complete accident and my partner freaked out. For some bizarre reason I decided to have the baby... and the first two years were horrible. I felt like I had lost my identity to a pooing, puking, crying thing. Instead of being an amazing business woman, I had become a diaper changer. That was really hard to come to terms with. And then something amazing happened...... when my daughter hit the age of three and started talking properly... I fell in love.

From that point on, I just viewed her, and other children, as amazing little people. I started out disliking children because they were alien to me, and now I know them, I love spending time in their little 'growy-up' world.

Hey, that's a turnaround.

I was the girl who always wanted children. But. I was not and have not ever been a fan of other people's children. That sounds horrible doesn't it? I am surprised how many of you others are saying the same. I thought I was an evil witch. Turns out, I'm normal.

Regarding women who choose not to have children. I am ashamed to say that when I was in my early 20s I judged. I believed that these women were not real women. Now, in my 30 somethings, I admire and respect them. Like Samantha from Sex In The City. A true example of woman power. Know yourself and do what is right for you.

Chris - it is appalling really at how rude people can be. I was hassled after two divorces & two sons about WHEN was I EVER going to marry my current boyfriend and - get this: "give him a baby!" WTF? I was never asked "Do you want...?" it was always "When?" After two people went along that track repeatedly, not getting the message after rather measured, polite replies, I finally had to snap their heads off and be rude right back to them. And these were not women from an older generation - they are in mine. I just don't get it. And I ALWAYS ask people first, "Do you want..?" if I even bother to ask at all since I happen to think it is none of my damn business.

I was never going to have children. Didn't like 'em. Too much work. What the hell is the big deal?

Now I have three. What happened there?

But really, having children changed me. It's true. I heard it from old friends and I acknowledge it myself. But how can you not? The whole process is like boot camp preparing you to lose a bit of yourself. The important thing is to retain perspective. I wouldn't do it any other way.

For those that choose not to or have not had kids I have this to say. Live well.

I always wanted to have kids, but I'm no a kid person - even with my own. Babies and toddlers are easy to me - love them, but once they hit six or seven I'm completely lost. I'm not good with other people's kids either...

I totally don't judge you if you don't want kids even if I don't understand. I know several single women in their mid-thirties with no children and no desire for any!!

As the Bobby Pin husband, I found your comments very insightful. My issue is I hate when people say, "oh just have one, you'll love it, it will all work out.". Maybe I lack their faith, but I don't think it always works out just because you bring another life into the world. The more I see abused or neglected children, or parents who really don't care for or know what to do with their children, the more I like where I am in life. I would have no idea what to do with a kid. Once they get past the baby phase of hold and smile, I am clueless. I don't want to say "kids aren't for me," and that is the end, but they sure don't feel like the right thing to do now.

I wanted kids but wasn't exactly sure why. When i was younger, thought I wanted 4. Until I had 1. Now I have two. Unbelievable experience, being a parent. All the cliches apply, and to say you learn things about yourself, partner, friends, world is an absolute understatement.

However, if people don't want kids then they should not have them. They should trust themselves and go travel, work and do all the other stuff that as a parent has to get at least compromised for awhile.

Hi Stef,

OK, so you know me,you know my kids and how crazy I am about them. This subject is very interesting to me because I never "dreamed" about having kids, never really had the desire, ever. I hated baby sitting when I was a teenager. Kids have always just annoyed me.

So how did I end up the mother of 4 sons? Well, the 1st one was a surprise. My husband told me he couldn't have children when we got married. After 3 months of married life, voila, the home pregnancy test was positive. And, I must say, I just plain fell in love with my baby. Having a child was a miracle - and i can't perform a lot of those! As a result, I decided to perform 3 more miracles. Was I trying for a girl? I hate that question, a lot! I performed 4 miracles - let's not get too picky!

Do I think this happend to everyone? Obviously not. Do I think this happens to a lot of women? Absolutely. For those who choose to not have kids, I do not question their decision. As parents, we all know this is not the right gig for everyone. For those, like me, who stumble in to parenthood and discover a whole new world - i just consider us lucky!

For me, it took having kids to realize how much I love them. I can remember going to "parenting" class at the hospital and not knowing how to change a diaper or really even hold a baby. And at a family function while I was pregnant with #1, a family member thrust her her 3 month at me and said: "You must be DYING to hold a baby." No, actually, I was quite scared to death. Just because I was pregnant does not mean I want to hold your baby.

And then, I had one and I fell in love. I realized that I was that "kid person". I loved all babies and little kids. It's like I discovered this wonderful hidden part of me.

But that's just me. That's not how it is for every woman. And that's OKAY. But, had I not had a child, I would never have realized how much I love them.

I am just as annoyed by kids as I was before. Because badly behaved children are badly behaved children. I still get grossed out by ANYTHING that comes out of a child's nose. What is true is that these things bother me less from my own children, but other children are still other children. I do have more empathy for other parents, but I also find I'm more judgmental of other parents.
I would never question someone else's decision to not have children. I can't stand when other people do that. Or when they look at someone with all boys and ask "Going to try for a girl?" or the other way around.
People just don't get it.
Which is probably why I generally am not a people person.
Chris, I'm sorry people are such jerkfaces to you. It's just not their business.
I don't think there is nothing wrong with not having children.
I do think there are a heck of a lot of people in the world who should have never become parents.
Feh, I forgot where I was going with this. I'm sick. I took medicine. Carry on without me.

My wife and I love kids but neve had them. We are constantly having to defend this decision. It is interesting how much pressure is put on people by friends and family to have children. People say things to us all the time that leave us astounded at their nastiness.

It's true. I'm still annoyed by other people kids (and sometimes my own) but I do truly love my own. I don't find babies (or puppies) cute for that matter, and someone's blow by blow of their child rearing bores me to tears. But my kids, my, oh my, are just awesome.

I like my own times, sometimes, but I am not really crazy about other people's kids. I am not what you would call a kid person. Even though I have my own. I have no idea what to do with them. It really is a daily struggle.

Hmmm....how to admit this in what is largely a mommy blogging community? Yes and no? No, I was never one of those gals who dreamed of having kids. I fantasized about being a high powered business executive traveling all over the world. A husband was tolerable. Kids? Hell no!
Then life happened & before I was 21 I had a baby. Which, in hind sight was a good thing because I ended up jumping in feet first before I knew what was happening. I figured it out and even, later, actually decided I *wanted* another one :-) So, that's the YES part, but the NO part is that I really am still not a baby or kid person. When co-workers bring in their new babies I give out the obligatory ooh and aah, but I am in no hurry to hold the new bundle. I still do not have anything close to a natural rapport with kids. I freely admit this flaw. So yes, when you have your own it IS different and you do end up loving every moment (though maybe not the poo), but it also doesn't mean you suddenly become awesome with all kids. And I am still probably the #1 advocate of telling women that it is also perfectly OK *not* to have kids.