It's another fabulously passive aggressive text from my mom. The humor in these texts is endless. As long as she doesn't stumble upon my website of course.  So DON'T tell her.

I was feeling guilty on Friday because I haven't heard from her nor reached out to her at all this year, so I sent her a text on Friday.  The following is her response.

Text One:  Hi honey. Good to hear from u.

Text Two:  Nice to hear from you.  I need an address for NoahNoah aka: Mac Daddy
Age: 12
"Special" Qualities: Holds a grudge for longer than you can remember the offense. Talks nonstop
Best Qualities: Wakes up with a smile every day and walks to the beat of his own drum.'s card. (She asks for my address exactly four times a year. Once for each of the boys' birthdays and once a Christmas).  As usual it's late.  Sorry.  Did Matt (my brother) tell you I cut the end of my finger off? I have 12 stitches.

Text Three:  The last time I had stitches was when I had you. I had 28 of them then.  Things are good with me. All my love to the family.

And. No. I don't make this crap up.