A Christmas serenade just for you. *clears throat.* Testing, testing.  Can everyone hear me? *sips water*

I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
My kids and Hubby are mad.
I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
‘Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.

I text my son “How horny are you?”;
Somebody snitched on me.
Laughed at me kid in the rear view
Somebody snitched on me.

I asked a girl to give her name;
Balls and shaft did cause me shame;
Had the cops called in carpool lane;
Somebody snitched on me.

(But that’s okay, cause my kids were worse.)

Their gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
Dude they have driven me mad.
Their gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
‘Cause they ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.

Colt wanted to get a new mom;
Somebody snitched on him.
KeenanKeenan aka: Kman
Age: 14
"Special" Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries. dropped the ‘screw you’ bomb;
Somebody snitched on him.
NoahNoah aka: Mac Daddy
Age: 12
"Special" Qualities: Holds a grudge for longer than you can remember the offense. Talks nonstop
Best Qualities: Wakes up with a smile every day and walks to the beat of his own drum. told me that I wasn’t cool
Colt wakes before light like a fool
Keenan reminded me I’m a mule
Somebody snitched on them.

We’re all getttin nuttin for christmas
Cause everybody is mad.
We’re all gettin nuttin’ for Christmas
‘Cause we ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.

Thank you.  Thank you. *takes a bow*.

A shout out to my Blogger friends.  Tuesday night, December 22 (as in FIVE days from now) @marymac and I will be hosting a Santa Baby Twitter Party.  We will have some cool crap to give away.  To enter, just create your own words to your favorite classic Christmas song as I have done here and as she did over at Pajamas and Coffee.  Check out her 12 Days: Eff Christmas.  

All entries must be submitted by noon on Monday, December 21. Then on Tuesday use #santababy to promote the party on twitter and post your song on your website.  At 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time we'll engage in a crapload of what @marymac likes to call MUTUAL BLOGSTURBATION.  We will be climbing all over each others blogs reading and commenting and deciding which songs will be our faves.  The top three will win prizes.  Should be lots of fun.  Looking forward to sharing some holiday cheer with all of you.  We all deserve a little fun together, don't you think?

Giving away fabulous pajamas, a Sportbrella (DUDe you so want one) and A Love the Planet bag.