Yesterday KeenanKeenan aka: Kman
Age: 14
"Special" Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries. stayed home from school with a "headache".  The headache started after a helmet to helmet hit at lacrosse which interestingly no one saw, but REALLY happened.  As it turns out, it wasn't actually related to a hit at all, he had a little stomach issue which is particularly humerous because even when my little hypochondriac actually is sick, he still can't get it right.

I had plans to shop all day and since ColtonColton aka: Moose, Duece, Colt, CJ
Age: 3
Favorite Word: Fart
Hobbies:  Playing in the dirt, setting off fire alarms at preschool and bossing people around.
Best Qualities:  The sweetest disposition this side of the Mississippi. is only in school three mornings a week and this was one of those days, HELLS to the NO I wasn't cancelling. Shopping with a toddler is like being pecked to death by a chicken. SO. I left Keenan at home in bed with these instructions. No Xbox. No Computer.  Since I have absolutely no faith in his ability to abstain from either of those, I took the cord to the Xbox and logged out the computer. Only I have the password.  Why YES. I do feel powerful.

The first hour of my shopping experience was a constant barrage of texts PLEADING with me to PLEASE MOM just let me play Xbox.  By constant, I mean CONSTANT. One after the other and if my response didn't come in under 30 seconds (which it didn't since I was ignoring him), I was greeted with this text. 

Keenan: ????????????

Which makes me want to rip his head off and eat it.  AS IF I have nothing to do but sit eagerly by my phone, all jolly faced and excited, breathless really, with anticipation of his next text. 

I responded to the pile of question marks with this:

Me:  I am driving my car on the highway at 65 miles per hour.  My options are texting you back and dying or focusing on my driving and living.

Keenan:  Hahahahahahah okay. :) I'll choose you living.

Well, that's a relief.  I wasn't actually driving, so please don't send me notes about how unsafe it is to be driving and texting.  Seriously. Duh.  Though maybe I should tell him the truth so that when he is 16 and I hand him the keys for the first time and say, "Don't forget the golden rule of driving.  No texting."  and he says, "But remember that text you sent me on December 8th of 2009?"

A few more emails were sent back and forth until this show stopper arrived.  I have added punctuation so that it is legible.  You're welcome.

Keenan:  Mom can I please just play Xbox?  It's like a once every 2 month minimum that I get a sick day.  Please just let me.  I already finished reading the Call of Duty manual.  Hahaha.  AND.  What are the consequences of not allowing me to play?  When your old and want a glass of milk or something when you are sick, I'm just gonna say, "Go get it yourself.  You didn't let me play Xbox that one day my freshman year." :)

And that my friends, is what happens when you pass your wicked sense of humor on to your children. My gift. People, it comes at a price.