It is my hope that this three part series has been informative, perhaps a wake-up call and (most importantly) motivating to all who have been reading. Please talk to your kids about this topic. Do it often. It might just save their life.
The final piece in this teenage driving series is the following by one of my favorites, Dr. Keith Kanner.
Dr. Keith Kanner is a licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Clinical Psychologist & Psychoanalyst. Aside from a full-time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California, he is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego; an Instructor for the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society & Institute; the Director of the Clinical Counseling Program for La Jolla Country Day School; and is a Clinical Psychology Consultant for a number of public and private schools in San Diego County. He is also a national board member for KidsKorps, USA, and has received a number of academic, teaching, and clinical awards over the past seven years. He has a number of publications and is a well-known speaker on issues pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is presently writing a book for Fox News based on his show here which should be published sometime later this year.
He hosts Family Matters, a weekly show focusing on various important issues relating to children, adolescents, adults, parenting, and family mental health. All segments will incorporate both theory, research, and practical advice utilizing key points. Some segments will be part of a series, such as “Getting Ready To Go Back To School”, while other pieces will be single-subject segments. Many of the topics will be taken from our viewer’s e-mails and questions while other topics will be chosen based on popular interest and importance.
Background: Once again another teenager lost a life in a late night car accident. It is not too surprising that a recent study was released indicating that the number one cause of deaths in the teenager popular are driving-related. These statistics pertain to both the drivers and child- passengers in cars driven by children between the ages of 15 and 18. The numbers further suggest that the younger the driver, the higher the danger, and once through the adolescent years, the statistics decline and safety is greater for all parties involved.
Causes listed for the deaths included: alcohol, text messaging, not wearing seat belts, distraction, and racing at high speeds, just to name a few. Although the study made some very important suggestions to parents about how to better educate their children and provide greater safety (see Figure 1), it is also important for parents to understand from a developmental point of view, why giving an adolescent too much responsibility can backfire in certain circumstances. This is not to say that some teenagers demonstrate the maturity to drive safely, but making the assumption purely on the basis of passing a driving test that they are mature-enough to take care of themselves and others is a risky leap. Unfortunately, and certainly influenced by the excited adolescent driver, is that because they passed the driving test that they have all of a sudden become “mature and responsible”. Understandably, this may seem like music to the ears of parents, but may not actually be the case.
Adolescents are in a stage of developmental flux until they pass into Young Adulthood. In fact, much of the common rebellion that the adolescent demonstrates stems from two basic sources: wishes to be independent and different from their parents; and second, an increase in drives such as aggression and sexuality. These two influences then place stress on the adolescent’s changing Conscience and at times causes poor judgment and acting out. In some cases, it is worse than in others, but all teenagers have their ups and downs. The advent of a drivers license then becomes very exciting to them and ignites all of these feelings and if the adolescent is not self-responsible enough, a crisis can occur.
Therefore, aside from sitting down with your child and reviewing the external realities of driving, as listed in Figure 1, parents also need to make their own assessment as to whether or not their child is mature-enough to handle driving a car. This is determined by the parent or parents reviewing to themselves an overview about their own child which includes:
1. are they doing well in school?
2. how is their overall sense of judgment?
3. how do they manage their stress?
4. are they using drugs and alcohol?
5. what are their friendships like?
6. how do they respond to authority?
7. are they planning ahead for their future?
8. do they see driving as a privilege?
If the answers to such questions are positive, then you may have an adolescent who is responsible-enough to drive a car safely. However, if the answers to these questions are negative, you may want to work with them to attain these criteria before you let them out on the streets. It is also important to review the suggestions made in Figure 1 as well and consider putting together a “Driving Contract” which includes the requirements you have determined to allow them to use a car. These contracts are also a nice way to help the adolescents continue to take responsibility for themselves which in the long run will increase both their self-esteem and their own safety as well as those of others. Another precaution would be to mandate your child be enrolled in an extensive driver’s training class before they hit the road. No longer is driver’s training a public high school requirement as it was a decade ago. It therefore has become the role of the parent to provide eduction and training when other resources are not available.
Figure 1:
*Insist on wearing seat belts.
*Set rules about safe passenger behavior and discuss what can be distracting to the driver.
*Monitor children’s travel: where they’re going; how they’re getting there and who is with them.
*Know the driver – and know that it’s unsafe for children to ride with teens who have less than a year of driving experience.
*Practice ways for children to feel comfortable declining a ride.
*Prepare children for facing a potentially risky driving situation. Create a code word they can use to signal trouble and that you need to pick them up.
{Source: The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia}
Please me and other parents of teens to discuss this issue further at TheBlogFrog.
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