There are some key things your sons should know before they leave home. Here are my top 15.
1. The kitchen? Not just for girls. Learn to use a stove.
2. If a girl tries to change you she doesn’t really love you no matter how much you want her to.
3. Shower daily, keep your nails trim and use deodorant.
4. A dutch oven is never funny. EVER.
5. It is NEVER acceptable to break up with a girl over the phone.
6. Understand how to use basic tools.
7. When you ask a girl, “Is something wrong?” and she says, “No.” She’s lying.
8. The job of a stay-at-home mom is equally as hard as yours.
9. Table manners. Use them.
10. You will never know a stronger pull than that of your friends trying to get you to participate in their wrong doing. Resisting makes you a man. Succumbing makes you a coward.
11. NEVER use your fists to solve ANY dispute. One wrong punch could take a life and it could be yours.
12. Condoms will save your life.
13. Never use the word gay in a derogatory manner. It’s ignorant.
14. Sexting is a federal offense.
15. Real girls do not look like Victoria’s Secret models.
What would you add?
See also, 15 Things Your Daughter Should Know Before She Turns 18.
About Stefanie
I would add that what you do when no one can see you will define the sort of man you are.
Treat a woman how you’d want someone treating your mom/sister.
never fry bacon without a shirt on
#trustory!
LOL
LOL – our 8 year old and 10 year know this one already and they don’t even do the bacon cooking yet!!!
I learned how to do laundry at an early age. I even know how to hand wash clothes (our washer was broke a lot).
It goes along with #3. Women like good smelling men with clean clothes.
It also goes with # 1 – learn to use a stove/oven/microwave, a washer/dryer, a needle & thread (a sewing machine is a power tool, but a needle & thread will do).
Teach him to express his emotions and ti respect the feelings of others.
Tell the truth. It’s makes things much easier. Always!
Always hold the door open for a girl – car door, door to a building, etc. Always come to the door to pick up your date, don’t sit in the driveway and honk. Always walk a girl to the door after your date, but don’t expect anything in return.
I raised two sons…….teach them to balance a checkbook, pay their bills on time, laundry, dishes, cook, clean,make a bed, look around and notice the world they live in and do it……..talk to women with respect, NO means No….I started teaching them this at 2 yrs old……No was not the beginning of a debate, or a tantrum. Respect yourself and if you can’t be open and honest in relationships it is a RED flag…….
A boy, about 8 or 10, was aggrevating his sister, who kept telling him to stop and "no". Their mother sternly told him "she asked to stop, so stop and remember, no means no". She turned to me and said, it’s never too early to teach boys this valuable lesson. I’ve remembered it for years.
Always let ladies go first and open the door for them, my son is 4 and I try to tell him that every opportunity I get
Loving God is a must for being a real man. It makes you a better husband and father… It make you a better person. God will get you and your family through anything you face!
AMEN!!
God has nothing to do with being a real man. Or bieng a good husband or father!
You are LOST
Not everyone is the same. We were all raised differently, some without the influence of a religion or some that simply did not see things the same as their parents wanted them too. This does not mean we are ‘lost’, and I think all kids no matter their gender should be taught this.
You guys need to read the Bible. If God took the time
to have the Bible written through His inspiration, I’m sure
He wants us to read it. How sad if you weren’t taught
that. You don’t know how sad that is.
Telling someone they are “lost,” is an excuse to say that one religion is superior to all others. Values and morals can come from oneself without a Bible telling them so. I am a Native (American) educated and beautiful Mother of Twins. I have learned through my upbringing, and through self-discovery, what horrific brutalitiles have been done to my Ancestor and my relatives Ancestors based on Christianity. Horrible, horrible, evil acts on Women, Children, Elders and Men, because of what they were and what they did not want to become. The affects of their traumas still affect my family today. Now even more so, amongst our own people and communities. Racism is always front and center…but I find that We as parents, providers and nuturers, all have the capability to Break Cycles and be the people, any Higher Power/Creator, wants us to be. Good Men and Fathers need support, love, understanding and empathy….from both sexes is their lives, to be better Men before them. Every family is different, just like every religion…but we should honor what is best for our family and not look down on those who think differently.
I feel so bad for people with such closed mind. How dare someone look down on others for having different beliefs. Aren’t you god loving folks supposed to be accepting of everyone? I would think someone of such “superior stature” would know better than that or doesn’t your god teach you that? If I am wrong and god does exist, I’m certain he would accept me for being able to think for myself, accepting others as is, and leading a respectful life. To each their own.
God doesn’t have anything to do with being a man? You really
said that? ! You poor, poor thing. You’ve had no upbringing.
God has EVERYTHING to do with being a man, or a woman,
and anything either ever wants to be. How totally uneducated
you sound!
Uneducated? Excuse me? Someone is uneducated because they don’t follow your beliefs? You my friend must be uneducated…. An educated person has the critical thinking skills to think for themselves. Myself.. I believe in God. I have chosen to not take the bible literally.I take the bible as a guidebook to life. Not a law book to life. The bible was written by a bunch of men who walked the same earth we walk on! My education is the reason why I don’t have my head in my ass like alot of you mindless bible thumpers do!
To all Christian women, pray for John. “A woman’s heart should be so wrapped in God that a man has to go through him to find her”.. A wife who puts God first, will be her husbands steadfast companion, joy, and a constant flame.
Yes! That has to be & will be #1 in our family.
Loving God is a must for being a real man. It makes you a better husband and father… It make you a better person. God will get you and your family through anything you face!
AMEN
Please understand that I respect and will protect your freedom to believe what you believe. I must insist upon the same from you. Do not tell me that I need something in my life that you believe you need. In the bible, your god claims to be “love”. Live involves accepting others as they are, not manipulating them into what you believe them to be. Also, the human teacher Jesus who wandered around your book ( not enough for my taste) acted with live towards others without checking to make sure they professed to believe in the same thing he did first. If I remember correctly he nurtured the sick and the ostracized as readily as anyone else. The only people I remember Jesus judging were moneylenders. Please accept the teaching of this man and do not tell me I am “lost” or that I “need god. “. I am a man. I love all humans equally for nothing more than being human. And I became this way because of human parents, human philosophy, and human self analysis.
Thank you so much for these. My son is 2 1/2 and one thing I’m teaching him is "Please" and "Thank You".
How to make coffee, how to fish, gold pan, chop wood, start a fire, and carry a stick when dealing with the rooster!
Never take unfair advantage – even of an enemy. Never betray trust. Always tell the truth. Be kind to children, old people, and animals. Be a hard worker. Respect woman, your parents, and the laws of your country. Never, ever hit a girl. Keep your thoughts, person, and words clean. Be a patriot.
I would love to see the list of things fathers should teach their sons. On my list…
* It’s ok to cry.
* Honor, respect and love your mother.
Great list! As a mom of 2 boys, I would also add:
1. Any male can become a father. It takes a real man to become a daddy. (And real men change diapers)
2. The question, "Do all girls have big booties?" is only cute because you’re four. Don’t ever repeat that phrase.
3. Call your mother.
I would add you have a right to get angry and speak your mind just do it in a respectful manner.
we all know it is important to teach girls not to need a man, we must teach our little boys that they do not need a woman to take care of them, this goes hand in hand with doing laundry, balancing checkbooks, cleaning, and cooking.
16.) Always put the seat down.
17.) It is not acceptable to swear in front of a lady.
I grew up with this ine, "it is NEVER ok to hit a woman!"
Most importan..NEVER, EVER HIT A WOMAN. EVER!!!!
Negative, that is a patent untruth. You should never hit a woman unless she hits you first. Anyone willing to lay hands on another person, no matter gender, deserves reciprocation in turn. Simple as that.
YES!!! I’m a woman, and I hate it when people say to never, ever hit a woman no matter what. Sometimes women hit, and they can even be strong. Men are allowed to defend themselves.
So right!
Keep your hands to your self unless you are defending your self!
Don’t start none won’t be none! Start some, you gon’ get done!
I feel if a woman hits a man like a man (meaning closed fist punch, not a slap) then that woman should be prepared to get hit back. There are abusive wives/girlfriends too
This is a great list! I also have taught my boys that you NEVER hit a girl even if she hits you – the boy will ALWAYS be at fault, hands down, besides the fact that men just DO NOT hit women.period. I have also stressed that who ever they date is someones daughter, sister, friend. I can refer to their sisters, I ask them to think of how they would feel if someone disrespected their sisters. You treat her with respect and never talk about her to your friends unless it’s to compliment or praise her. Your private life with her is just that, private. Your friends do not need the details. It cheapens her and you when you talk about it. When you break up, regardless of why. you don’t trash talk her because it just makes you look like an idiot.
While I wholeheartedly believe that a boy should never hit a girl, I believe just as strongly that a girl should never hit a boy. Unfortunately, it has been my experience, as a mother of boys, that there are many girls who believe that they have the right to hit boys with no reprocussions. In elementary school, my son was wailed on repeatedly by a much bigger girl. Talking to her parents did not change anything. So, I finally had to advise my son that, while hitting girls is NOT ok, it is also NOT ok for her to treat him like a punching bag. So, the next day, when she hauled off and hit him with her backpack, he reluctantly hit her back. The little bully never touched him again!
Also, whatever babying you do as a mother, your son’s wife will be expected to do. Example? My sweet mother-in-law packed my husband’s bag for our honeymoon. She always did his laundry and cleaned up after him. And 6 years into our marriage, this is still one of our biggest struggles. A man who is not taught to clean up after himself at a young age cannot SEE the mess he’s creating. All of that is to say–you’re not doing any favors by babying your son. If he can reach the dials, he’s old enough to do his own laundry.
I love this!
To call grandma (auntie, sister, mom) at least once a week. Even if its just to say hello. (Texting doesn’t count)
When courting….. never text, call the person.
Never do anything to a girl that you would be upset that someone did to your mother or sister
Always open and hold the door for all girls.
Carl, this is not a list of what is "legal", it is a list of what is BEST – the whole "taking the high road" sort of thing. Some girls are just ignorant and will punch guys, not having been taught that a woman needs to show a MAN respect, just as a MAN needs to show respect to a woman.
Now, if a woman tries to SERIOUSLY punch a man, 1) walk away and 2) what EVER put them in that situation to being with?
But besides all of the respect issues, MOST women cannot do a huge amount of damage with one blow but a man could. It’s NEVER OK to punch a woman – ever.
haha this is a lesson learned the hard way!!!
Please teach him also that the proper response to "Thank you" is "You’re welcome"…NOT "No problem"…
proper according to who?
To whom
Please teach him also that the proper response to "Thank you" is "You’re welcome"…NOT "No problem"…
If you have to lie about later don’t do it.
ADD to #13: Retarded. Never use the word gay (or retarded) in a derogatory manner. It’s ignorant.
I think that opening the doors for girls is a huge one!!! My boyfriend of 4 years is always opening my door for me and aplologizes if I ever get to the door first. My mom admires him greatly for this as do I.
Also being a sweet, kind, and genuine person goes a long way as far as being a man.
And lastly a strong handshake and looking everyone in the eyes when they speak.
Amen! I’m in the same predicament. We are 5 years in and it is a HUGE issue. Mommy dearest always did all the laundry, picked up all the toys, cleaned the rooms, cooked all the food, etc. She has even given me a lecture on how important it is to let children be kids and not to make them work and "earn their keep" as she called it. But here we are, with living proof of what happens when a man can’t even see the messes he is making. When a man is sitting down watching TV or playing a video game while his wife cleans up the kitchen after cooking dinner for the family and then goes to pick up everywhere else in the house, there is an issue. Yeah, he goes to work all day…raising kids is no picnic job either though.
Do your son and his future wife a favor for a happy marriage and raise a kid who knows how to pick up after himself and chip in to help keep a home clean and running.
Let’s not forget….Open her doors for her, ladies, women with children, elderly, & handicapped first, please & thank you go a long way.
Also should teach EVERY child " Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you".
And not no response at all!
We are raising 4 boys and along with MANY of these great suggestions there is ONE STILL MISSING…..
Be the gentlemen and offer your chair. No woman, I dont care how old or young she is should EVER stand while a man sits.
For all the Never hit a woman comments. My son will just call MOM!!!! and MOM will deal with that!
I totally agree! My son has a Autism Spectrum Disorder & my mommy colors come flying out when I hear that word.
Never use the word ‘retard’ ever. Or park in a handicapped parking space. Be quiet when she’s taking a nap.
So glad Alison Golden commented so I could find your blog, love it! I don’t have boys but I would tell them 1) hold the door open for anyone esp women and the elderly 2) give up your seat 3) show love so your kids know how to love 4) I don’t care if you have been with a woman for 1 day or 100 years, keep sweeping her off her feet- find out what makes her smile. and for God sakes turn off the TV every once and a while!
Two more words that should never be used "fat & stupid". I have taught my son that those are swear words that should never be used at any time. I want him to understand that nobody is fat or stupid.
Nobody is fat or stupid? What about the people who are, in fact, fat? “Fat” is term signifying the state of being overweight, having too much fat stored on the body. It is just as objective as the terms “tall” or “blond.” Do you also teach that nobody is tall or blond? What you’re actually teaching your son is that reality doesn’t matter as long as we use pretty language to cover up the truth.
Teach him how to dougie
There is such a thing as "too much Axe".
I have to totally agree with this one lol my son (age 9) at one point wore too much axe to the point we had drive around with the windows open lol
Just remember: no matter what you teach them, they may pay more attention to what you’re doing than what you’re saying…as a mother of 3 boys, I’m trying to lead by example -praise them for their good & effort…& when it comes to how to treat a lady, I (try to) show them how to treat a gentleman.
Amen!
Amen Sister!!
Amen to that!! I have had to deal with that! The mother even apologized to me because she created this issue.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!! My son also has Autisim Spectrum Disorder & Mild Retardation also runs in my family; I have SEVERAL friends & family members (both men & women) who are gay – no one likes a derogatory or negative comment and I’m teaching both of my children that using these words as negative things is wrong. My Mommy Flag flies high when it comes to these things & I thank you for posting these comments
I absolutely agree 100%!
Keep winning her heart over & over through the years. She needs this, and it will keep your relationship strong.o
"just because you may not understand it or have ever experienced it, doesnt mean that it doesnt exist. Learn to put yourself in other people’s shoes and be sensitive to their needs or feelings-even if you may not fully understand or agree with it."
dont pick sides based on popularity. If you see a kid who doesnt have many friends being picked on, stick up for them bc they may not be able to do it for themselves. Do what others arent doing- help and do the right thing.
Any amount of ‘Axe’ is too much ‘Axe’….
How about open doors for everyone else, first.
Say I’m sorry when you are in the wrong! Don’t let your pride get in the way! Above all else let God guide you and you cant go wrong!
Really? I’m a man and a complete atheist. I love my wife and support her in every way. I take care of my family and have never abused any woman in the past. I’ve pretty much follow this list.
So, I am some kind of man-child for not believing as you believe?
Judge not lest ye be judged yourself.
#1. Don’t have sex with a woman unless you would want her to be the mother of your children, because it only takes once.
#2. Buy her flowers just because and help her with the household chores and you will be much happier because she will.
I gave this to my husband to read. We have one child, 21 mth old boy. Here’s his response:
Funny. Though a few I disagree with, sometimes fists do work with other boys and are necessary. Two, your girl should look like a Victoria Secret model to you.
Not just for boys but is a good one! Never do anything you’ll be embarrassed or ashamed to tell your grandma!
No matter how much kissing or touching is going on; when your date/girlfriend/boyfriend or person you just met says "no", she means it. Period.
he/she means it.**
Or "retarded".
1. Marry a woman for her looks and she’ll only be pretty for a little while. Marry a woman who is KIND, and who makes you laugh, and she’ll be beautiful for the rest of your life.
2. The greatest gift you will EVER give your son is to honor and respect his mother. Whether or not you are still together.
Good one!
A bar is not a cool hangout when you are married with children. Just causes more problems, doesn’t make a situation any better.
Hi I’m 29 and have a 7month year old boy and these are the values my dad raised me on and told me on my 13 birthday.
1. Never hit a girl, but if she hits u with a closed fist and acts like a man she will be treated like a man. Men should never hit women, but a woman should never hit a man. It works both ways.
2. Always use word judo instead of real judo. But if u have to defend yourself never show fear or back down.
3. Respect everyone until they show u no respect, but give them a chance to earn it back.
4. Be steadfast in ur beliefs respect every1 else’s and admit when ur wrong.
5. If your man enough to come up in there, you better to be man enough to deal with what’s comes out.
6. Being a man is not being able to do everything you want, it’s doing everything you don’t want to do.
7. Treat your woman like a princess so long as she treats u like a prince.
8. Your mother has done more for you then you will ever now tell her u love her everytime you see or talk to her. She will always love you so dnt hurt her.
9. Cheating is doing anything you wouldn’t do infront of ur partner, nt just sex.
10. A mans worth is not measured by the position or wealth he succeeds in life, but is measured by the obstacles he over comes while trying to succeed. Never give up and give it ur all.
11. It’s ok to dream with ur head in the clouds so long as your feet are firmly on the ground.
I agree completely with Jennie Phillips. God needs to be your rock. Of your an atheist well good job. But from my beliefs I would never date or marry an atheist. I feel that God has expectations that are like this too, he helps you and shows you the way. He is a helping hand that can get you through anything. When I get married and have kids they will be brought up in faith
To each his own, but to me dismissing a potential partner just because the do not believe exactly as you do seems a bit silly to me. Also you don’t need to be christian to be a good person and not every christian is a good person. Values you teach you children such as posted here are generally common sense, honorable respectfull and from the heart. They are not persee linked to any religion.
I would like to add: be self sufficient. By this I mean learn to cook, clean the house, do laundry & put it away! My husband does all of this WITH me and it really does go a long way in a happy relationship. Mommy won’t always be around to clean up after you so you must learn to do it by yourself! I am so thrilled to have come across this and have printed it and put on my fridge so I never forget what is important in raising a MAN! Thank you
I love this! But I don’t agree with #2. What if someone has a substance abuse problem? What if they have self destructive or abusive behavior? I would also add #16: It’s okay to be tender and to show emotions when necessary.
SO TRUE!
If you wouldn’t marry her, don’t sleep with her.
It is more than acceptable – preferred even – to be smart.
Agreed! We have 3 boys and we teach them to pick up after themselves. Of course its be a kid first but then its be mature and responsible and pick up and help out next. My boys are 8, 6, and 4 and are spoilt rotten but they are taught to help out which helps with the way they respect their things and others as well. A lil structure goes a long way.
I agree with your disagreement with #2. Since we’ve been together, my husband has quit drinking and just become an overall nicer person, in large part because he saw how upset his behavior made me and wanted to make me happy and strengthen our relationship. And there were definitely times when I made clear that his behavior was threatening our relationship. If he had refused to change on some theory that it meant I didn’t really love him, then he would have been defending his right to drink to excess and snap rudely at me as more important than our relationship.
I am totally with Please. It is, shockingly enough, entirely possible to have good values, teach your children good behavior and be kind and responsible without believing that a magic entity in the sky is judging whether you do those things well enough. One might even argue that there is more value in an atheist acting in an upright manner, because those choices are true to his/her heart and not merely enforced upon them by fear of eternal damnation.
I see what you are saying but at the same time you wouldn’t want your son to be with someone who has any of those issues. Those can only bring him down and possibly destroy him as well.
lmao
Or If you wouldn’t say it to your Grandma, don’t say it.
I think some of these added comments must be from the 50′s. You want the "niceties" of that era but with the advantages of equal rights. As the mother of two adult sons I find many women of "today" to be selfish male-bashing princesses who want their cake and eat it too. Never hit a woman…are you kidding me? If they are assaulted by a woman all rules should not apply. Physical abuse can go both ways. Let’s see a list of what women should teach their daughters….I bet none of them will include ways to be nice to the male gender. Just sayin’
If you read it properly you would realize it said not to use your fists to solve "ANY" dispute. I do not see where it specifically said not to hit women. You should make the list you mentioned. I am curious to see what your views are as to how women should behave.
Looking more at the comments than the initial list.
I completely agree with you. My boyfriends room mates in college, all four years, were absolutely disgusting. They wouldn’t take out the trash, wouldn’t wash the dishes, let the common rooms a mess. It got so bad at times that I couldn’t stand to walk in because it smelled so bad. And to make it worse, when they would fail their room inspections my boyfriend had to pay a fine along with everyone else for a mess that he didn’t make. He never used the common rooms and had his own trash can, which he emptied when it needed to be. These were 22 year old "men" and they couldn’t wash dishes and take the trash to the dumpster once a week.
I am so glad that you shared #9. This is my biggest pet peeve i guess you could say, with people today. I’m constantly telling people that if they know it will make their partner mad, so they knowingly don’t tell them, then yes they are in fact cheating. Emotional cheating is still cheating.
A big one I will teach my children, girls and boys, Curse words and derogatory words are unacceptable at any age, in any situation. If you can’t speak like a Grown Man/Woman than just shut your mouth. No one wants to hear filth. And this really comes into play when they have children, your kids will repeat everything and that’s not something you want them to say now is it?
I was kind of liking this list till I got to #12..it is so far from the truth! I will NEVER teach my boy such a shallow thing! In my case it worked the complete opposite…having a baby saved my life!
I was kind of liking this list till I got to #12…it is so far from the truth! I will NEVER teach my boy such a shallow thing! In my case it worked the complete opposite…having a baby saved my life!
I think the condom is for AIDS, not babies.
It might have saved your life, but it’s not the same for everyone. Some 15 year old kid doesn’t need to have a child in high school, One that he can’t take care of because he is in school, can’t drive, probably doesn’t have a job yet. And even in college, most college age guys aren’t ready for children and probably don’t have that great of jobs to take care of a child. My children will be told that they shouldn’t have sex until they are married because they will be raised Christian, but if they do then they had better be smart about it. If they can’t take care of a child then they shouldn’t be making children.
I would have to add – The world does not owe you a living and neither do I. Working is expected and REQUIRED and will bring you a lot of respect from yourself and from others. And save money from every paycheck. It will come in handy time and time again.
I don’t think it’s about conception… I think it’s about preventing STDs. AIDS kills, and can be prevented with condom use.
There’s a difference between trying to change someone and trying to save someone. Support and love is totally different than trying to mold someone into something they’re not.
I disagree. Every abled body person (no matter the gender) should give up their seats to the elderly, physically challanged, or pregnant. I think it’s horrible for a young girl to be allowed to sit while an elderly man stands just because he is a male.
I have to agree! The young girl should definitly give up a spot for someone elderly male or female. Also its wonderfull to see someone holding open doors and pulling up chairs but honestly mutual respect is far more important. I’ve seen enough example of charming men who open doors and pull up chairs and are still douchebags
Love this one! This is so true and will be making my list! Be honorable even when its not "popular"
I completely agree! Never hit a woman. Although i will give my son permission to restrain a woman from hitting him repeatedly but my son is being taught to do no harm! to anyone but especially a woman.
My husband works all day to provide a nice home and put food on the table. The LEAST I could do for him is his laundry.
Be mindful of the things you are given or are provided for you. Gifts, clothes, furniture, etc. Take care of things so they last it shows you care and respect the people who work hard to provide the things you need and want.
I am right along with you. Abstinence, self-respect and respect of women is what prevents "unwanted" pregnancies and stops the spread of disease. And in spite of the propaganda the government has fed us, this is the ONLY legit STD prevention.
Well said, Crys…it’s nice to know there are still moms out there that teach consequences and the importance of making right decisions instead of teaching "ways around" wrong decisions.
I used to tell my students that cussing was pure laziness. If you cannot describe what you need to say without going to the default cuss words you show just how uncreative and unintelligent you really are. It was amazing how they found creative ways to express themselves without using profanity.
We told our son that he couldn’t get married until he could provide housing and health benefits. (It wasn’t as wise as we would have liked….he joined the Air Force)
I don’t get #4. Why is a Dutch oven included in this otherwise great list? Am I missing something?
I agree. I had an high school English teacher that said using curse words showed you lacked in vocabulary, as well as intelligence. I have always remembered this and it drives me insane to hear individuals speak in such uneducated ways.
I would add the best gift you can give your wife is yourself and not settle for someone who is willing to give you any less as well.
I don’t think you are thinking of the right "dutch oven." Google.
You ask what we’d want to add, I’d definitively remove the "deodorant". Totally useless, just like makeup.
what is a dutch oven?
Passing gas under the covers and trapping your wife beneath them. Not funny. Ever.
There are too many to add to the list, because a mother teaches a boy/young man so many things
As far as the list, only 2 issues:
8. The job of a stay-at-home mom is equally as hard as yours.
Not necessarily true, respectable- yes, and he should know what she does and never take it for granted, (sry, never liked this statement, just feel it should be rephrased)
11. NEVER use your fists to solve ANY dispute. One wrong punch could take a life and it could be yours.
This could result in his own life being taken, and feel this would be stupid for anyone to accept. With today’s society this is not always possible.
Kyle thanks for being honest and I totally think this is the biggest issue between husband and wife or bf/gf if there is a hard working labor man or even a hard working office man….long hours, muscle strain…etc etc and a stay at home wife.
My only insight to possibly explain something you will never understand (like trying to describe a rainbow to blind ppl) is that women are wired differently. And if it were mathematical…men’s brawn and endurance in a job that is usually dealing on just one plane in a multi dimensional business is definitely equal to the constant, on-call nature of a stay at home mom…or even a homemaker.
Mainly because the home is in itself a business (though small business that is why it is equal and not more tilted in favor of the women working harder) and she has to fill all the levels of duties and be hundreds of different titles at the drop of a hat. In fact…most men dont see that as the man they should be the manager of his home and she should be his assistant bearing only the things he needs done because he doesn’t have time because he is working on all the more difficult tasks he is strong for. They should be a team.
Work which brings in money should not hold weight. It shouldn’t be the money that has the power to dictate who really worked or not. If a woman were paid for the jobs she does just like if you had hired a stranger to do those jobs her pay would be up in the thousands…..per day.
So she is just as enduring and perservering because she doesn’t even clock out… and is even in work mode to create a home (hence homemaker) for the MAN when he arrives home ready to relax and be served. It’s just sometimes she gets to sit down and work and sometimes she uses a lot less brawn to take care of things. I respect men for their sacrifice in their bodies for their work. And their mental exhaustion for that matter. I definitely hold it high. Just don’t put the other side down. We are partners created differently in order to become one strong and united force of nature.
comparing apples to oranges in short…but I have a feeling you didn’t read through to that….lol. I know some ladies did!!! haha. joking! just had to share.. maybe write a book on it and this will be my first 3 chapters!
There are men who don’t do that and see that unfair clocking out is non existent and so they help with chores and child rearing…but unfortunately men that have more of your viewpoint tend to believe “women’s work” is hardly work at all and they have been “off” all day and tending to his needs is the required sacrifice for all his hard work. I def don’t believe in ….I work and pay bills…you do the rest… lol. Have you ever had to do ..”the rest” for more than a month…most men who have find wives quickly.
Kyle, you have obviously never been a stay at home Mom.
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Totally agree! Your reply to that is typical of a man with no respect for the women who raise families!
Disagree, what woman wants a man to smell like body odor???
Wow, what an ignorant reply! You should be proud!
My Husband used to be an Alcoholic, before we were together, and was ALWAYS a mean drunk. One night he got in a fight and was arrested and sat in jail for 9 months with another year of living in a recovery house and another 2 years on parole and probation, He has spent the last 6 years trying to dig himself out of that whole to get a better job and provide for us. So yes throwing one punch can, momentarily, take your life. He regrets it to this day and now sees the results of his stupid actions over NOTHING!!
I have told my son the same thing! love it!
Ive been a signle father for years, and for a year i was a stay at home dad….stay at home mom did require a lot of multitasking, but it is not near as hard as my current job
Then you weren’t doing it right, or you weren’t doing it all.
In response to :
My Husband used to be an Alcoholic, before we were together, and was ALWAYS a mean drunk. One night he got in a fight and was arrested and sat in jail for 9 months with another year of living in a recovery house and another 2 years on parole and probation, He has spent the last 6 years trying to dig himself out of that whole to get a better job and provide for us. So yes throwing one punch can, momentarily, take your life. He regrets it to this day and now sees the results of his stupid actions over NOTHING!!
I didnt say an idiot can’t screw up his life by starting a fight or throwing a punch, I said by never throwing a punch he could very well end up dead for not protecting himself
Yeah, cause what kind of moronic parents would tell their kid to use a condom. I’d rather my son die of Aids than use a condom! Idiot!
A truel gentleman, regardless of age, will ask a woman to sit and he will stand.
such a shallow thing? dumbest comment EVER. a condom WILL save lifes and i love #12 most of all!!! great add. if you dont teach your boys and they dont protect themselfs, then its sad to say they might get themselfs
more than a child!
Love these, one I would like to add – A girlfriend of substance requires a JOB. Girlfriends like gifts, movies, dinner…etc… So you must have a JOB, because I don’t have a girlfriend fund..
wonderful!! glad someone pointed that out. too many people, of both gender, have forgotten "you’re welcome".
JEEZ, is on one going to comment on the immaturity and language of this Suk-ot person?
Mother can teach, and son can do for himself while single. That doesn’t mean he won’t "forget" all the instant he puts a ring on some female finger!!
I like that description – "Respectable". I don’t think you can say being a stay-at-home parent is equally as hard as, say, being a construction worker because it’s a different type of job, with different responsibilities and duties, and therefore not really comparable. Just like being an accountant is different than being a construction worker and different than being a CEO of a company or a doctor or a palletizer or a handyman. All different jobs with varying aspects of difficulty. Not necessarily levels of difficulty. But different aspects. What’s hard to one person may come easy to another. I was a stay-at-home mom for 5 years and there’s no way I could be a construction worker or a doctor! That stuff is hard! (for me, I’m in HR) My husband watched over our 8 week old baby during the day while I worked and he thought he was going crazy! (I received phone calls at work every hour!! lol). I ended up quiting and staying home with the kiddos while hubby got two jobs so I wouldn’t have to work (and he wouldn’t have to stay home, haha!)
Like I said, I like that description – respectable. Was my house always spotless and dinner made on time? No. Did my hubby always understand why? No. But was it hard? No. Was it easy? No. I would do it again in a heart beat if we could afford to
Or to phrase it more simply, you throw the covers over you and your significant other and fart. Then don’t let them out.
Gail, it’s most probably because responding to immaturity such as this person exhibits brings ones mental level down too many notches to count and truly isn’t worth the effort.
Learn how to do your laundry, clean your bathroom, shake hands and look someone in the eye. Always tell the truth, don’t follow the crowd. Love God and love your mother!
#12 ruined this for me too. If you teach your son anything, teach them to respect themselves and the women they date. Sex is not the answer. Teach abstinence. Before you know it, you will teach your children to contracept their hopes and dreams away. If you’re not ready to have a baby, don’t have sex.
Do unto others as they would like done unto them. (The platinum rule!)
Because maybe what they want is not at all what you would like done for yourself.
I really do agree with this assessment. I have thought this for soooo long. I just never could put it in words….
There are many additions and edits needed on this list:
I’ll address the list:
#1 – Absolutely correct
#2 – Another one that is correct, however sometimes compromising isn’t necessarily a woman trying to "change" you.
#3 – Yes yes yes.
#4 – Is it funny? Yes. Mature? Nope.
#5 – Sometimes it is. Especially if she is crazy or the relationship is new.
#6 – Wow. This is quite sexist. Shouldn’t men and women know the basics of household tool use?
#7 – Instead of teaching boys this, teach girls not to hold in everything. Problem solved.
#8 – No. It absolutely is not. From dealing with management, the weather, dangerous situations, irate customers, economic factors, and various other unknowns the job of a stay-at-home parent is not as difficult as trying to be successful in the business/industrial world.
#9 – Yes. Manners are key to success
#10 – Teach your son to be a leader, not a follower. A+
#11 – This is funny. I’ve always been taught not to hit first, but never to let anyone put their hands on me. I was taught that defending yourself is NEVER wrong no matter who says otherwise. That’s how my kids are taught and that’s the right way. Never let yourself be struck without retaliating.
#12 – True story
#13 – This is a joke, right? Since when do the gays need sensitive treatment? If it is okay for everyone to make fun of every other race, creed, religion, sex, color, etc. then they need to be able to handle it as well.
#14 – My kids will be taught to treat ladies with respect.
#15 – This is a cop-out. There are women that look like Victoria’s Secret models… they’re in the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Like anything else, this is not the norm. Just like every little boy isn’t going to be an NFL quarterback, not every woman will be a supermodel.
Now the Additions:
Shake hands firmly and confidently and look people in the eye when you speak to them.
Never miss an opportunity to hold a door open for someone.
Always say please and thank you.
Dress for success. Always.
Good manners are not an action, but a habit.
Ladies deserve respect. That is assuming the woman is acting like a lady.
Never give respect to those that do not return it.
Realize that all actions have consequences, immediate or otherwise.
Money doesn’t solve problems, but if you have money you have less problems.
An education is your best friend.
Never trust anyone completely. People are imperfect.
If you don’t know how to do something, ask someone that does or look it up. Ignorance isn’t a good thing.
How you treat your mother is a good indicator of how you’ll treat the women you meet in your life.
Life is full of compromises.
Life is what happens when you’re busy planning it.
Never let others influence your beliefs, morals, or integrity.
This is just more modern-day stuff trying to get people to compromise their religious beliefs because society is trying to shame them into it. Good people that have strong Christian beliefs will not amend them to appease anyone. Anyone that does is luke-warm. And like it says in Revelation: Since you are neither hot nor cold I will spew you from you mouth.
I’m not sure if you’re trying to be a jerk or not, but you sure sound like one. Although I do like some of your additions, I’m not sure about all of them.
#8 Really? Are you speaking from experience? Or just ignorant pride? I worked for ten years in a high paying, high stress job. I stayed at home for 2 years. Couldn’t hack it. I’m now back at work. You either have no experience with the stress, isolation, pressure, anxiety etc. or you are superman. I’m guessing that’s not the case?
#15 Ever heard of photoshop?
Money gives you less problems? Or just different problems? Because I know a lot of people with a lot of money who have a whole hell of a lot of problems. Teach your kid how to manage whatever money they have instead of teaching them that more is better.
Never trust anyone? EVER? I don’t even think that’s possible. Good luck teaching them that. People are imperfect but I’d never want my children to go through life constantly guarded and never trusting anyone. What kind of life is that? The life of a bitter, angry, world hater. No thanks.
The only thing I’d add is Love God more that yourself.
Always be a gentleman………always
Become well rounded and very well educated. Education will never desert you.
Keep clean.
Play in dirt
Lose the pride. You’re no better than anyone else.
Offer a hand.
Know the names of the cleaning crew and befriend them.
Everyone has a story to tell.
The world doesn’t revolve around you.
Never ever, even in jest, use a derogatory term for another race.
Deb-
#8 is from experience. I’ve done both and would rather be home with 2 kids all day everyday than have to deal with the business world.
#15 might seem crazy to you, but there are absolutely stunning women in this world that DO look that good. Like I said, it is not the "norm" but they are out there.
Having money does give you less day-to-day problems. Money does not solve problems, but it prevents you from having to worry about a plethora of events transpiring. I’ve been broke and I’ve been more than comfortable. I can tell you I had a lot less worries when I had money.
If you trust people and don’t cover yourself against betrayal you can be ruined. When I say never trust anyone completely I’m saying it from experience. You never trust anyone with your family’s livelihood. Remember how I said I’ve been broke and been more than comfortable? I because broke when I trusted the wrong people. It took a while to get that wealth back.
You can live however you like, but my family’s well-being is far more important than what anyone on an Internet board may think of it.
i agree if your not ready for a baby then you shouldnt be having sex!!
addition.
Treat the women the same way you would expect a man to treat your mother.
I AGREE! I am only 23 and it baffles me how many I people I meet that are my age or younger that seem to think they deserve to be paid, or given a job at the top without paying dues or working hard. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!!
@jim B
@jim B
"#13 – This is a joke, right? Since when do the gays need sensitive treatment? If it is okay for everyone to make fun of every other race, creed, religion, sex, color, etc. then they need to be able to handle it as well." – According to whom is it okay for everyone to make fun of every other race, creed, religion, sex, color, etc.? I am not condoning homosexuality, but this statement is bothersome. Because group A has been persecuted, then group B should face it as well? Also your theory about only giving respect to those who deserve it – I understand the premise, but who wins here? I think this attitude contributes to a "me first" first attitude, which (despite your reasoning) is harmful in the long run. (and I am n ot talking about blatant verbal/emotional abuse. When you say "those who deserve it" what do you mean? Do you mean "those who agree with you"?) Lastly, if you never let others influence your beliefs, moral or integrity, you stand to loose out on a lot. When you think you have learned it all, you loose big.
For a mother raising three young men, after reading your comment, I would say to my sons not to bother with someone like you. If they have a JOB, I would not want them wasting every single penny that they earn spoiling some girl who only cares about money. When it comes to wedding vows (I realize I am jumping the track, but bear with me), it states, "For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health." If you cannot learn that while dating, you will not go very far. I have a so-called gf that left her husband for no reason other than for upgrading to some dumb thing that has money and spoils her. She did not have it bad, just not a lot of money and pretended to have a lifestyle that she pinned for. It is fake and disgusting. Life sucks, but it is only how you make it out to be. Maybe you need to aim higher, but don’t fall into the give me, give me life, and the I deserve it all, because none of us are perfect, and no one can for see the future when dating/marrying someone. She has ruined her children’s lives by breaking up a family for no reason but money. If she was abused and had a lying cheating drunk of a husband, and he did not work and was a lazy thing leaching off of society, then I say go for it, end the marriage, but it wasn’t that way at all. You sort of sound like her…fake and greedy.
For a mother raising three young men, after reading your comment, I would say to my sons not to bother with someone like you. If they have a JOB, I would not want them wasting every single penny that they earn spoiling some girl who only cares about money. When it comes to wedding vows (I realize I am jumping the track, but bear with me), it states, "For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health." If you cannot learn that while dating, you will not go very far. I have a so-called gf that left her husband for no reason other than for upgrading to some dumb thing that has money and spoils her. She did not have it bad, just not a lot of money and pretended to have a lifestyle that she pinned for. It is fake and disgusting. Life sucks, but it is only how you make it out to be. Maybe you need to aim higher, but don’t fall into the give me, give me life, and the I deserve it all, because none of us are perfect, and no one can for see the future when dating/marrying someone. She has ruined her children’s lives by breaking up a family for no reason but money. If she was abused and had a lying cheating drunk of a husband, and he did not work and was a lazy thing leaching off of society, then I say go for it, end the marriage, but it wasn’t that way at all. You sort of sound like her…fake and greedy.
When you’re wrong, apologize. You’ll be a better man for it.
I believe the intention of the comment was more a I’m-not-going-to-fit-the-bill-for-your-love-life not find-a-gold-digger. I don’t think any mother wants her son to end up with someone that is only with him because of what he can give to her.
Call your family!
Always smile!
Be funny
Travel
Hold your girlfriends hand.
Don´t scratch your privates in public.
Serving in the military is the ultimate act of patriotism and bravery! How ignorant must you be to post such a thing. As the child of a father that serverd 26 years in the Air Force, and then myself doing 8 years, and being married to a man who served 20 years and still serves as a civil servant, I find your remark derrogatory and quite offensive. Our service made your ability to write such a thing possible. YOU ARE WELCOME!
I have to agree with most of Jim’s comment….
This goes to show you how different women and men are when it comes to parenting…women tend to focus on sensitivity (don’t use ‘gay’ in a derogatory fashion) – but life is life…and no one said it isn’t tough. I teach my boys to treat others the way they wish to be treated…that pretty much covers it. Learning how to deal with conflicts and personality differences early on – will make it easier for them in real life. This ‘politically correct’ society we now have – has done us no favors. Our kids are less respectful, less empathetic, less independent and more ‘entitled’ than ever in history…. why do you think that is?
Every couple of months – I have each of my sons take me on a ‘date’…I teach them how to treat a woman (opening doors, eye contact and manners). My boys are 6 and 9. In addition, I stress to my boys that life isn’t fair, you must give respect to get respect and you are your own destiny.
I will say that – stay at home parenting isn’t for everyone. I have stayed home full time, worked full time and finally decided a part time job fits my needs. I stay at home 2 days during the week and work 3 – which days do I ‘enjoy’ the most – the stay at home days HANDS DOWN. Many of my stay at home mom friends — their biggest event during the day is making their personal trainer appt at 10am or the once a week trip to the grocery. They complain about dinner, kids taxi, play dates etc… when I know good and well – play dates and activities are often social events for women…and these are the same women – that seem to be on Facebook – 24/7. Lets not forget – the working mom has to do ALL of those things and juggle the stressors of the career life. To say the stay at home mom has it soooo rough – is kind of a stretch in my opinion.
Where I definitely agree a guy should have a job.. it’s not because I want him to buy me things. Were I do enjoy the small gifts and taking me out, I mainly want a guy to have responsibilities and goals. Having a job creates this. I take pride in how hard I work and the responsibilities I have….a guy that is jobless by choice is someone without goals or responsibilities and therefore, not someone I would be interested in dating. I am also a firm believer that if you have been with a man six months or more and it is serious, there is NOTHING wrong with a woman paying for a dinner bill or two. I believe it shows that you are perfectly capable of paying for things yourself without his help and therefore showing independence.
I have been reading a lot of the comments below this posts and it’s mostly about the stay at home mom being as equally as hard as a mans job. I have worked a high stressed job and been a stay at home mom and I don’t think you can compare the two..where working and being a stay at home mom are very hard to do, I think they are also very different. ALL jobs are different.
But gentlemen let me give you an understanding: Women are expected not only to keep children alive and healthy, but they are required to clean the household (so that the family does not get sick) as well as have meals provided. To clean up after not only your husband but little ones, the animals (if you have them), and yourself as well is certainly a task in itself and should NEVER be undermined. Remember gentlemen, when you make your comments about mothers and it being easy, you are insulting your own mothers who worked so hard for you and your family.
If you look at it this way, it would be like your wife or girlfriend saying to you, "you work behind a desk all day and sit around, behind a computer and do practically nothing." It would be ignorant for someone to say something like that to you especially if you are making HUGE decisions for the company you work for, etc. One cannot be ignorant and make such comments.
Being a stay at home mom is A LOT of work. I know this first hand. Four years ago I received a job offer in a larger city and my fiance at the time was unemployed. I didn’t have a problem supporting us as long as he did the dishes, tidied up and etc. Instead he played video games and lazed around the couch figuring the house work got done by itself…. Anyways I would come home to a mess (no kid at this point!!!) After being stressed out at work and having to deal with the mess I was not happy. He ended up getting a job and with us both working he still didn’t want to share the chores. Flash forward a few years later we’re married and have a 15 month old daughter and I stay at home full time ensuring my place is SPOTLESS and orderly. It takes a lot of work but it gets done. My point being is that it’s easy for men to stereo type stay at home mom’s as lazy and don’t do anything until they are put in a similar situation (i.e my now husband) Things are much better this way, if I do go back to work it will probably be up to part time so I can still take care of the household.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY: I recall my son asking at a very early age (between 5-6): "Mom if I brng by girlfriend coffee, will she like that"? , my response "If she likes coffee honey, than she will like that " . Then he asked " Mom if I do her laundry will she like that"? "If you sort it right honey, yes she will like that"! Then he asked " Mom if I bring my girlfriend breakfast in bed will she like that"? My response was…………"WooWooWooo, If you are bringing her breakfast in bed, you better be married, and she must have done all of the above for YOU!
Alicia, Forget what these women said. As a man who does honor his mother and wishes to treat women as she should have been treated by the men whom she mistakenly let into our lives. Good girls are not cheap and any woman worth my time is a woman that takes time to get to know. I would ask these other women, how i am I to get to know her and know she is a good woman worthy of my time and show her I am a man of substance who is worthy of being her Champion without spending time with her?
Understand there are very few things in life that are free. How would you view a man who spent 3 months getting to know you, but had little money to take you to a movie or to dinner? This certainly is not someone capable of providing a secure future for you ar the children you may produce.
Love it!!! Definitely Top Twenty material!!! #momofthreeguysandtheirdad
The whole idea of never hitting someone, depends on the situation. I was always taught to never start sh*t, but not to take sh*t either. So is my son. If someone hits him, he will be hitting them back. I’m not raising a bully, but I’m not raising a push over either.
My son will know how to clean, cook, take care of himself, treat others right, love God, and help others.
A SAHM’s job is just as important as anyone else’s. People should get off of that, and know that each job is different, but just as important.
Love everything you have said here! All real sh!t!
Hahaha, never leave the seat up, dont put the near empty carton back in the fridge, wash ur hands ALWAYS, and remember to send ur sisters flowers and candy every Valentines, Birthday, Anniversary.. Etc
i love the list. i have a little man and i take my job of raising him very seriously – he’s going to make somebody a great spouse someday!
for me i would add 2 more –
1 – love is never wrong. spend your life with whomever makes you happy
2 – assume the role of protector with all those you love.
7. When you ask a girl, “Is something wrong?” and she says, “No.” She’s lying.
THEN some commentors say, “No means no.” Sort of a fallacy here… why would one assume a girl is lying? A girl must never lie.
=/
Pray for your young men to love the Lord with all their heart soul mind and strength – then following the promptings of the Holy Spirit and these things should all fall into place.
It is NEVER appropriate to sing the “Chunky Song” from Madagascar in Wal-Mart no matter how funny your daddy says it is…
I would add: “Don’t ever get married, unless you are REALLY REALLY sure.”
Pink is not only for girls!
You don’t have to shake it off, go ahead and hurt and cry if you feel the need to!
Never take the credit or the blame for something you did not do!
Always look them in the eye!
You will get rejected, If she doesn’t want to talk to you for some shallow reason, you don’t want her on your team anyway!
If you get someone pregnant, BE THERE, PERIOD!
If she doesn’t like you, there is another she right around the corner that will!
God gave you tear ducts to use!
Don’t walk on the heels of another, set your path one foot in front of the other, you will surely go much further! In other words don’t be a follower be a leader!
Hold the door open when someone is coming in behind you, woman or man…
Offer to help when you can!
Be yourself, don’t change who God made you for no one!
You are in competition with only YOU. There is always room for improvement!
Learn to use your less dominate hand, you never know when it may become your only hand!
Learn how to fix it yourself!
Don’t call women out of their name and don’t hit them unless you have to defend yourself!
Don’t take yourself to seriously!
Sleep with angels, not demons!
Keep your tee-fuh-ses brushed, ears cleaned, body washed and lotioned, your hair did and underarms lathered in deodorant/antiperspirant! And keep an extra deodorant in your backpack/car…
Don’t wear holy socks or underwear you may end up at the hospital and that is just embarrassing!
Laugh hearty EVERYDAY!
Check yourself before some else has to!
You are not done until you are dead! If you want to go back to school at 80, go…
If different is who you are, be the best damn different you can be!
If I had to choose, I would rather you have a bad grade than a bad friend! You can change your grade, you can NOT change a bad person!
When someone does you wrong, pray for them and don’t give them an opportunity to do it again!
There is no better feeling as a man than making a way for yourself! God bless the child that’s got his own!
Forgiveness is FREE!
In your relationships be proactive not reactive!
Don’t start none, don’t back down from none!
Know when to walk away!
PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!!!!!
Wash your hands!!
Don’t be harassing your wife/girlfriend for sex, unless you want her to harass you to grow it bigger or last longer! Blahahaha! But seriously, it is not cool. If you were handling your business(in that area) you wouldn’t have to harass in the first place!
Don’t be using corny pick up lines, you will get clowned!
Never apologize if it is not sincere!
Don’t show out just show up!
Know your worth, be confident not arrogant!
Don’t do sh*t that will have you in jail/prison, I promise you you won’t like it and probably won’t make it!
You will not get a second chance to make that first impression!
If you know you went all in with the best you had to give and it is still not good enough for someone, than you can walk away with a free and clear conscious and a fresh new start!
You are not the person to judge another person!
Don’t always be looking for more, bigger, better, prettier, thinner…If you can’t be happy with what you have already been blessed with how are you gonna be happy with more?
Keep positive energy around you and that will attract positive people to you!
Love God(or whatever you believe in), love yourself, love your family and love life because it is definitely a unique and priceless gift!
I know this is supposed to be15 things a mother should teach her son(s), but there are way more than 15 important things for them to know while they are still young [men] to help build their characters to become well rounded men and hopefully pass down to their own children.
I have 3 sons, but most of these are things I tell my nieces too. In my opinion they are excellent teachings for any young person.
Told my son (as he’s getting close to dating age to remember all girls are someone’s daughter, sister and eventually someone’s mom. To keep that in mind and treat them how he’d want his sister, daughter or me treated by someone who dates us.
For both boys and girls:
You should know how to change a tire (and hopefully your oil).
Use ‘Yes, maam’ and ‘Yes, sir’ when talking to the police (or other important people, but definitely the police)…. and you will talk to the police at some point in your life.
Find your equal when searching for a mate.
Hug your parents and don’t be afraid to talk to them.
How to be happy.
This discussion got way off course people. It was suppose to be a simple sentence to help young boys. What happen??
Always put your wife first!!!!