In theory, you would be really interested in who I am and would read paragraph after paragraph of me waxing poetic about my life.  I doubt most of you are even still reading now, but in case you care, here are some highlights or lowlights depending on your personality.

I live in a locker room.  What I mean by that is that I live with four belching, farting, balls and penis joking, no table manner having boys.  Three of which are my children the other is my husband.  I marvel daily at the fact that the word fart can bring anyone in this house to a state of laughter that rivals a Chris Rock show.  Seriously marvel. 

I have no problem telling you my age, but I'm not going to.

I am extremely competitive, but I'm working on it.  (I'm not really working on it.)

I am the co-author of Chicken Soup for the Girlfriends Soul.  Please buy the book, mama needs wine. 

My thirteen and twelve year old sons have cell phones, but I refuse to get one for my three year old.  Don't laugh, I live in southern California.  He wants one.

My girlfriends are my everything.  I am married to a man that gets this, he has 7 sisters, and let's me play often.  I need it.  Locker room.

Aside from my girlfriends, my other hobbies are cooking and reading.  LOVE them both.  I will be sharing them with you.  Hope you enjoy.  If you don't, suck it.

One final thing to note.  I have an ex-husband.  He has a wife.  We live a mile away from each other.  Need I say more?

About the family:

My husband is a way better husband than I am a wife.  Ok, that's so not true, but he is really hot and he builds me things.   He wears a tool belt and cowboy hat at night and a suit during the day.  What more could a girl ask for?  Note:  I would like to clarify the above statement.  My husband's boss called to ask if he is a stripper by night.  For clarity, he is also wearing jeans, a t-shirt and work boots with his hat and belt.  I did once date a  male stripper though.  Not a good story.

My thirteen year old, KeenanKeenan aka: Kman
Age: 14
"Special" Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries., drives me absolutely crazy with his volatile personality, eye rolls, door slams and sense of entitlement.  We liken him to Eeyore.  "Another rotten day and I've lost my homework again."  He brings me to my knees with his heart and his fabulous sense of humor. I choose to stay focused on the latter.  Not easy.

My twelve year old, NoahNoah aka: Mac Daddy
Age: 12
"Special" Qualities: Holds a grudge for longer than you can remember the offense. Talks nonstop
Best Qualities: Wakes up with a smile every day and walks to the beat of his own drum., is the sweetest and happiest child there is.  He bounces up the stairs like Tigger every morning, hugs me and tells me he loves me.  Don't cross him though, cause he stays mad for days, sometimes weeks.  You will have long forgotten that you pissed him off and he will walk by you in the kitchen and just "accidentally" bump into you a little harder than he should.  Not kidding.

My three year old, ColtonColton aka: Moose, Duece, Colt, CJ
Age: 3
Favorite Word: Fart
Hobbies:  Playing in the dirt, setting off fire alarms at preschool and bossing people around.
Best Qualities:  The sweetest disposition this side of the Mississippi., is a handful.  Mostly because I thought the third one would be easy.  I forgot to factor in the constant driving to and from the events of my older boys, their homework, the fact that I would have a teenager and a three year old at the same time and the lack of sleep.  Oh, and the fact that my husband and I are completely outnumbered.