Just ask half the teams in the NFL and just ask me.  I HATE to lose. Not kidding.  HATE it.  I get that enraged feeling in my stomach when ColtonColton aka: Moose, Duece, Colt, CJ
Age: 3
Favorite Word: Fart
Hobbies:  Playing in the dirt, setting off fire alarms at preschool and bossing people around.
Best Qualities:  The sweetest disposition this side of the Mississippi. beats me at Candyland.  You can imagine how I feel about losing at football, in a league I set up, in the first week, to a GIRL. Yes, I know they are all girls, but still.  To read more about my competitive dysfunction, click here.

Week one was NOT pretty.  I have two injured quarterbacks. Could one of you please MAN UP?  I need some points.  I had Peyton Manning last year, now that’s a MAAAAAAN.  My opponent had him this week.  He got her 16 points and Carson Palmer got me five.  FIVE? From my QB?  Dude.  I know how hard Carson Palmer worked out in the off season.  He was in the gym next to me on many occasions doing some weird tied up in straps thingy with his trainer and doing lunges with half the gym equipment strapped to his back.  I am sure he is just off to a slow start and will start crushing it next week against Green Bay.  Hmmm.  Maybe I will give Matt Schaub a chance instead.

Adrian Peterson, anytime you want to stop by, I will cook you up a five course meal. Lord have mercy you are AMAZING. Thanks for the 38 points.  Fred Jackson, RB at Buffalo, not so shabby your damn self, 24 points for me week one.  Love it.  Wes Welker who was questionable got 21 points for Team Ooph.  Here is a tip: Never bench someone that Coach Bellichick says is questionable.  To him that means the player is one hundred percent and he is just playing the mind-injury report game with the rest of the league.  Only is it really a mind game if we all know what you are up to?  I lost one of my wide receivers, Anthony Gonzalez (Colts) to a knee injury.  He is out two to six weeks.  Fortunately I have some decent backups. DON'T EVEN get me started on Dallas' pathetic defensive stand.  Four pitiful points.  Cowboy up boys.

All in all it was a pretty good week, even though I lost.  DAMMIT.  My team is looking impressive.  Except for those QBs.  Anyone want to do a trade?  Two injured QBs for say, Drew Brees?  Seems fair.