Ooph | 2011

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diagnosis diarrhea

I do this thing where I diagnose myself with a disease about, oh, EVERY TEN MINUTES. If I feel the slightest amount of pain in my head, I go straight to visions of me in the hospital and... more please

posted: 08/02/2011

a letter to my future daughters-in-law

I have thought of you often and what you might look and act like. I have done the numbers and while I am no mathematician I realize there will be three of you. That is bad news for me. You... more please

posted: 08/02/2011

the dead zone

My grandfather was an avid hunter. He would pack up his guns and travel the world to find helpless creatures in need of a bullet to the head. As if it shooting them wasn’t bad enough, he would... more please

posted: 08/02/2011

be your own man

Last Thursday, after three weeks of watching Keenan

Keenan aka: Kman
Age: 16
"Special" Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries. look at his hair in the mirror all the way to school and complain NON STOP about how it sucked, I took him to get it cut. I scheduled an appointment with... more please

posted: 08/02/2011

the silence...the beautiful wonderful silence

As the story of my life unfolds it has become abundantly clear that thirty percent of it will be spent sleeping, twenty percent at the grocery store, ten percent drinking, eight percent eating, and fifteen percent in a phone store... more please

posted: 08/02/2011